So I went to the Midwest this weekend and saw LeftBehind. We hung out for an evening and things felt strangely the same as they did one year ago. He had me cracking up at his crazy jokes and my heart jolted when he told me how much he missed me. I realized that I missed him too. Despite all that I've been through in the last year -- even while I was with an ex, who I refer to as the Controlling Bastard -- LeftBehind has stayed on my mind. I wonder what things would have been like if I stayed put in the Midwest, plodding away at my unfulfilling job, writing in my spare time and happily enamored with him. Instead, I moved across the country to work at another unfulfilling job, grad school and a ho-hum social life. Maybe things would be different if I could go back in time.
But I imagine that a long-distance relationship could be the death of us. All those late night phone calls, road trips across the country as well as flights could take their toll and we'd wind up hating each other. We're both too stubborn to move. I refuse to be Felicity and move back to the Midwest with my tail between my legs. And shoot, if I'm all that he claims that I am, what's stopping him from arranging to make this work? Why can't things be like that last scene in 'love jones', after Nina moved to New York, but she still thought about Darius?
Nina: This will never work. I live in New York, you live in Chicago.
Darius: I don't care. I love you and that's urgent like a m***f****.
Too bad I'm not in Hollywood. Here's something funny that happened. A few months ago, I was in CVS trying to buy a new hair grease. I found a bottle that worked well and smelled vaguely familiar. I've used it ever since. When I went to LeftBehind's place, I learned that it's the same hair grease that he uses. That's why it smelled so familiar. Oh well. Maybe if I throw out the hair grease, stop taking his calls and get rid of everything that reminds me of him, I'll be able to forget him. It may take some time, though.