Friday, January 30, 2009

Letters From the Darker Populace (#4 Set the Mood Right)

Dear Mr. President,

I want a baby. There, I said it. And not just any baby, I want your baby.

Wait -- Don't cut me, Mrs. Obama. What I mean to say is that I want you and the Missus to have a baby. Clearly, I'm not the only one who desires this. I mean, have you checked the rumor mill lately? The general public would like to see the first black White House baby!

Now, I know Michelle might be thinking that she's done having kids. I mean, she is in her forties and not looking forward to doing anymore potty training. And clearly young Sasha is not keen on giving up her baby status anytime soon. But think about what such a thing would do to your approval ratings! There are so many people out there preparing to have an Obama Baby, wouldn't it be great if you set the trend?

So, I'm going to help you out a little, Mr. President. Over the next few months, I'm going to flood 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with some items that may inspire you. I'm talking about a little something like this, this and this. I'll even send some tunes that are sure to get the conception mood right -- Al Green, Barry White, Prince, Wu Tang Clan -- whatever rocks your boat.

Well, I'll leave you alone now. Clearly, you have a lot to do, and I'm not just talking about running the country. I expect you and the Missus to have a little fun every day through Valentine's Day. Come mid March, I want her to be puking her lungs up. Then, by the end of the year, I'd like to see the latest Obama enter the world. That's not too much to ask, is it?

peace and love,


Photo from

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Fallout

This week, my company truly laid down the gauntlet with a mandatory meeting. We all sat around wondering what it could be -- a. layoffs? b. furloughs? c. job changes? Well, our answer was d., all of the above.

It was a terrible feeling to listen to the bosses announce to the entire workforce that they would have to let some people go. It was even worse when they gave us all lists of the laid off folks, and we were asked not to look at them as they packed their desks, and give them a moment of privacy. It hurt to see my Partner In Crime given a brown paper bag to put his stuff in, then ushered out the back door. Two of my supervisors were also given the heave ho. I was in shock until Bill, a sweet guy who'd been working there 28 years, came around to say goodbye to all of us. I gave him a big hug and we all started crying. Ugh. Sometimes, work sucks.

We later learned that we were getting five furlough days this year, the first one starting on Presidents Day. The others are to occur once a month after that. It's truly been a miserable work week. But while my colleagues have been gathering at the bar to commiserate, I've been going straight home to make sure my resume is on point, then searching for whatever jobs there are out there. The problem? There aren't too many.

In the meantime, my new supervisor is a grizzled Vietnam Vet who is rumored to carry a knife in his cowboy boots. He works 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. and no one has ever seen him do regular human functions, i.e. eat and drink. So these next few months will be interesting.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Furloughs? Lay Offs? Pay Cuts?

I try not to write too much about the job on this here blog. Overall, I enjoy my workplace, but if I were to write about it here, it would only send me into a neverending cycle of complain-dom. And who wants to read about all that?

But today, my colleagues and I got an email from the Man In Charge requesting that we all make ourselves available tomorrow for a mandatory, companywide meeting at 1 p.m. *UGH* So, being the nosy investigators we are, some of us googled our company's name and came up with some dire news. The other subsidiaries that fall under us have announced to employees that they'll have to take five days off without pay because the company has been doing so poorly on the financial level. Each subsidiary under our company has been handling the financial situation differently. Some are shutting down for five Mondays in a row, in addition to administering 2 percent pay cuts and not granting raises. Some are keeping employees from using their birthdays as paid holiday leave. (Of course, that's a luxury my place of business hadn't afforded us) We've already been told that no raises would be granted this year.

So we're all sort of antsy about the Big Scary Meeting that awaits us tomorrow. One of my coworkers emailed the Man In Charge and asked him if the furloughs would affect us. He said "I cannot confirm or deny that." Great, just great.

But I will keep my head up and look at the bright side of things, until we learn our fate. On a positive note, I would enjoy not having to go into work on a weekday. I could happily use that time to do some writing or better yet, head to a job interview.

Photo from

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Letters from the Darker Populace (#3 Give Em Hell)

Dear Mr. President,

Have a great first day!



PS This is shamelessly stolen from a VH1 promo I saw this morning.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hello Panic. I’ve Missed You!

Sometimes, I get crazy ideas in my head. Awhile back, I was chatting with some close friends about this yummy new recipe I made. They thought it sounded good and were eager to try it. So, I made plans for these two to come over for dinner.
But the idea evolved. I began thinking that perhaps I should invite Homegirl, the friend who lives fairly close that I never get to see. I couldn’t have Homegirl over without also extending the invition to Girlfriend. And I knew I’d feel really bad if Oh No She Didn’t found out about my little get together from someone else. The same thought applied to Keeping It Real. By the time I got finished creating my invite list, there were 12 people on it.

Well, I sent the email out and I did what I normally do, I panicked. Not all of my friends know each other, so I couldn’t help but worry about what would happen if Homegirl and Sister, Not Sistah didn’t get along. I have the same concerns about It’s Because I’m Black and the white guests I’ve invited.

I also have worries about how I’m strategically going to fit this amount of people in my apartment. I’ve had people over before, but never for something as simple as dinner. In one of my weaker moments, I googled ‘hosting a dinner party’. Not a good idea. Now I’m also worried about the meal I’m serving, the playlist I’m making (Is Lil Wayne not good dinner party music?) and those two plates I have don’t match my existing set. And God forbid I serve She Caught The Vapors when everything is not up to parr.

In the end, I’ve decided to stop overthinking it. This is a get together of friends for food, convo and laughs, nothing more. Hopefully, it’ll stay that way. Yes, I’m still freaking out on the inside, but that’s what I do. My first task? To start cleaning this apartment!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year!

I, for one, am happy 2009 is here. Don't get me wrong, the '08 treated me the same way as all those other years -- I was up, I was down, I was happy, I was sad. But the '09 has arrived, so it is time to put away last year's news.

For New Year's Eve, I did something most folks would think strange. I bowed out of a party to go to the movies -- by myself. I caught a double feature of 'Marley and Me' and 'Slumdog Millionaire.' (I enjoyed both, cried at both) I wasn't particularly in the party mood, and I don't know the guest of honor too well, or her guests, so I managed to dodge it without any hard feelings. I hear the folks that went had a good time. Well, good for them, it just wasn't my scene.

The other day, I opened an email I wrote to myself a few months ago about the five goals I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. It was a difficult list, but I put some of my marching orders into action -- I eliminated certain people from my life and I finished drafts five and six of my fiction novel. There are some goals I haven't even touched yet, but I'll get there.

However, goal #3, which I titled 'Fish don't fry in the kitchen/a bean don't burn on the grill,' which is pretty much my way of saying I'm going to start cooking more. I'm off to a good start, but there is something about eating out that just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. Ah well.

Here's to a healthy and prosperous '09!