Friday, January 30, 2009

Letters From the Darker Populace (#4 Set the Mood Right)

Dear Mr. President,

I want a baby. There, I said it. And not just any baby, I want your baby.

Wait -- Don't cut me, Mrs. Obama. What I mean to say is that I want you and the Missus to have a baby. Clearly, I'm not the only one who desires this. I mean, have you checked the rumor mill lately? The general public would like to see the first black White House baby!

Now, I know Michelle might be thinking that she's done having kids. I mean, she is in her forties and not looking forward to doing anymore potty training. And clearly young Sasha is not keen on giving up her baby status anytime soon. But think about what such a thing would do to your approval ratings! There are so many people out there preparing to have an Obama Baby, wouldn't it be great if you set the trend?

So, I'm going to help you out a little, Mr. President. Over the next few months, I'm going to flood 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with some items that may inspire you. I'm talking about a little something like this, this and this. I'll even send some tunes that are sure to get the conception mood right -- Al Green, Barry White, Prince, Wu Tang Clan -- whatever rocks your boat.

Well, I'll leave you alone now. Clearly, you have a lot to do, and I'm not just talking about running the country. I expect you and the Missus to have a little fun every day through Valentine's Day. Come mid March, I want her to be puking her lungs up. Then, by the end of the year, I'd like to see the latest Obama enter the world. That's not too much to ask, is it?

peace and love,


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