Wednesday, November 14, 2007

If the children are the future, then the future is fcuked

No, that is not a typo. It's just an example of how this next generation of children is headed toward illiteracy at a rapid rate. I confess that there are certain things I'm a tad bit anal about -- grammar and proper spelling are only two of them. Maybe it's the writer in me, but I've been known to lecture people about using affect and effect improperly and the misuse of a semicolon really ticks me off. I mean, respect the language, folks. Respect it!

Awhile back, two of my younger cousins requested to be my friends on Myspace. My page is private to anyone who is not a friend, so I immediately cleaned it up so that they could view it. That caused me to remove a couple of folks from my top friends' list, like my friend with the cartoon of a lion coming out of a woman's vagina and my other friend who each week is either a Gangsta Bitch, The Main Bitch, or The Bossy Bitch.

Anyway, I added my two cousins -- both boys, one is a freshman in high school, the other is in sixth grade, or middle school. It started out innocent enough, Freshman Cousin constantly sent bulletins about how much he loved his girlfriend and other chain letters. Things were fine, until he sent one with the subject, "I like to fcuk." (I'm not sure if I was more pissed at the topic or the incorrect spelling) It was one of those forwards where your birthday month says something about your personality. Obviously, I was not too happy to get this from my 14-year-old bird-chested cousin, so I emailed him and told him so. This is what I got back:

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From Strength

Date: Nov 1, 2007 7:43 PM

its a bulliten chill i didnt make it

Let's examine the problem, shall we? First of all, can a sistah get a bit of punctuation? And what is a 'bulliten'.... hmm? Where is the apostrophe for 'it's?'

That alone unnerved me, but I kept my mouth shut. But it wasn't too long before Freshman Cousin started again. I was online once late on a weeknight and I saw that he was also online, so I sent him a message and told him to go to bed. This is what I got:

----------------- Original Message -----------------

To Strength

no skool i gotta go lol peace i was just talkin 2 my gf

Allow me to translate that. Basically, he's telling me to calm down because he doesn't have school tomorrow and the only reason he was online was to talk to his girlfriend. But once again, no punctuation. Call me old school (school!! not skool!), but I need a subject, verb, and predicate in my life.

Another time, the Sixth Grader sent me a message asking me how I was doing. I responded and this is what I got back.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

To Strength

can i be on your top.even know i'm aloud, don't tell my mom or (freshman) that i was on mysace.don't ask!

Again, allow me to use my bilingual skills to translate. What he meant to say was, (insert British accent here) "Hello, my beautiful and enchanting cousin! I was wondering if you would give me the honor of being one of your top friends on Myspace. My mother and brother are aware that I am on this site, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this message to them. Cheers!" Instead, I got a muddled mess. Where is the question mark in the first sentence? And didn't he mean 'allowed'? I can forgive the 'mysace' as being a typo, but as for the rest ..... ARGHHHHHH!!!! (Of course, his parents are aware of this convo and for unrelated reasons revoked his myspace privileges).

I may have to start a one-woman literacy campaign. I haven't seen my cousins in quite awhile, but the next time I do, we're going to have some spelling practice. I refuse to allow them to become statistics!

(Photo from


motownrunnergirl said...

bulliten!!! omg, good post, chica. lol. gotsa go chill now. skool nite!

eclat said...

This was so funny...I'm also (secretly) annoyed by the misuse of effect/affect. Ooooh, and especially ensure/insure. That one really makes me crazy. !!!

This was such a funny post!

Nicole said...

Took three reads for me to focus on anything other than "a lion coming out of a woman's vagina." Funny.

MsPuddin said...

Crackin’ up at “I like to fcuk” You do have to take into consideration that it is MySpace. My page is a hot mess too. And it’s an age where you are not going to fit in by spelling things correctly. It’s cooler if you don’t.

World of Isaac said...

admittedly, I screw up effect and affect constantly

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Thanks for chimin in ya'll! Motown, you're crazy. =)

@Eclat: Thanks for sharing my pain, though I'm sure I misuse ensure/insure. I'll have to investigate that. Now I have something else to obsess over ...

@Nicole: Yes, most people are intrigued by the lion and the vagina pic! She's a truly memorable friend.

@MsPuddin: Good point.

@Andrew Isaac: It's easy! Think R.A.V.E.N. -- Remember, Affect is a Verb, Effect is a Noun.

World of Isaac said...

never seen that acronym...good to know

eclat said...

SCW, "effect" is not always a noun...when we say we want to "effect change", for example. :0l

Okay, I'm going to leave you alone, lol! Goodness, have mercy. I could debate words all day.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you blogged about this. This has got to stop. I blame Ludacris and Fabolous. Children can't even spell common words because their favorite rappers names are spelled incorrectly. I mean, really.