Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Whatever happened to 'What your man gotta do wit' me?'

I was hit on by the handicapped today. Okay, technically he wasn't handicapped, but if you spend the day sleeping in the library, in my mind, you're handicapped. And I believe the correct term is disabled. But for purposes of this post and for alliteration value, he will be referred to as handicapped. So, I was hit on by the handicapped today.

(Backstory: Earlier this week, a male supervisor who is amazed by black hair and typically compliments me on my hairstyle, was perplexed when I came to work wearing a hat. He asked what the problem was and I told him that it was raining, I had a bad hair day and thus, the hat. He said, “So, that’s why you wore the hat? Because you gave up?” I gave him a harsh look (okay, it was more like a sellout smile) and he slithered away.)

Because I’m a nerd, I spend my lunch break in the library either reading/writing/doing homework. When I went to my usual spot in the back of the room, I noticed a teen-age boy sitting in the chair across from me, fast asleep. I was totally engrossed in my novel (Fortunate Son by Walter Mosely), but I couldn’t help but watch as this skinny redhead tossed and turned in that uncomfortable chair. He woke up about an hour later and asked for the time. I gave him the answer and headed back to work.

Fast forward five hours later. Count ‘em. Five. I went back to the library because I had some time to kill before an evening meeting and Lord knows I wasn’t going to sit in that depressing office. I went to my favorite spot in the library and who do I see? Yep. The Redhead. Looked like he never left. I said something like, “Fancy meeting you here” and he smiled. He didn’t seem to totally understand what I was saying, so I figured he had some kind of mental disability. He asked me what book I was reading and I told him, thinking that was that.

The Redhead then moseyed over to me and handed me a note. I thought that maybe he was deaf and he needed me to do something, or maybe there was a word he didn’t understand in his book. Instead the note said something like this: Question: I know we barely know each other, but I was wondering if you might like to go out sometime. Maybe to a movie or something.

Wasn’t that sweet? The disabled teenager had a crush on me. I wrote back, Thanks for asking, but I think you’re a bit young for me. He sat there for a long time, pondering my statement. He returned with, I’m 25. Not exactly young, dear. I wrote, My mistake. You look much younger. I’m flattered by the offer, but I’ll pass. I handed the note back to him, thinking about alternative excuses in my mind. The next time he passed the note, I would tell him I also had three children with three different fathers and a very angry boyfriend. So I waited for him to return the note.

And waited ….

And waited …

And waited.

He never passed the note back. I mean, I said ‘no’ once so he just wore the hat. WTF? Even a baseball player gets three chances at the plate. Same goes with women. Give us a chance to not only say ‘no’, but also ‘not interested’ and ‘I’m calling the police.’

Way too many guys are wearing the hat nowadays. What happened to guys like Positive K? He chased this girl relentlessly through the streets as she claimed, ‘I Gotta Man’ and he responded, ‘What your man gotta do with me?’ He never got her number, but he gave it is all. And let's not forget Darius in ‘love jones’. After Nina rejected him twice, he did whatever he could to get the digits. And he was successful.

Nowadays, guys don’t have the spine that they used to. They can be fine or ugly, rich or poor, but they don’t want to put in any hard work. They just want to sit back and sleep in the library.

1 comment:

Juicy77 said...

Poor little red-haired boy. I do wonder what his deal was.