Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Dead Man Walking

I'll admit it, there are a few dead men that I have mad love for. Actually, I can only think of two or three at the moment, but I'm sure there are more. Let me clarify. I'm not talking about any freaky vampire/corpse stuff. I'm talking about men who are dead now, but have my love just the same. Does that make sense?

Let me start by talking about Bruce Lee. I was always a fan of martial arts movies, particularly the low budget ones that would air at noon every Saturday in my neighborhood. The plots either went one of two ways. First there was the "Don't Mess With My Woman" plot. That story revolved around the movie's Hero who had a relationship, or a crush on, a beautiful woman in town. But the enemy would either rape/attempt to rape or kill said woman, angering the Hero. The Hero would take revenge and by the end of the movie, all the enemies would be gone and the Hero and the woman would ride off into the sunset together.

Second, there was the "Don't Mess with My Friend/Teacher" plot. That story revolved around the Hero who has a good friend or teacher that is just as skilled in the martial arts as he is. Then, along comes the enemy, who uses dirty tricks to kill/maim/severely injure said teacher or friend. The Hero takes revenge, killing all of the enemies in sight and then the credits roll. (Jean-Claude Van Damme is famous for these plots, i.e. "Kickboxer" and "Bloodsport", which are virtually the same movie)

The movies were cheaply made and they had that famous out of sync voiceover for us American audiences. But I still loved it. Eventually, I discovered Bruce Lee and I was never the same. I can't remember the first Bruce picture I saw -- maybe it was "Enter the Dragon" or "Fists of Fury." Either way, I just couldn't take my eyes off of this beautiful bundle of energy that was killing everyone in sight. I made it my mission to see every single one of his movies and I even caught a few flicks with Bruce Lee imitators. I was heartbroken when I learned about the circumstances surrounding his death and I made it my mission to learn as much about him as I could. If I ever decide to visit Seattle, seeing Bruce's grave is at the top of my list. Morbid, I know.

The other day, I was at Walgreen's and I saw a Men's Fitness magazine with Bruce on the cover. (I think it's the April edition) Naturally, I stopped in my tracks. They had several pictures of Bruce -- old and young -- that I'd never seen before. Yummy! I think the article was talking about Bruce's workout routine and what he did each day to sculp that physique. Dude was serious. Oh Bruce, if only we had lived in the same time period ....

Speaking of, anyone ever seen "Somewhere in Time" with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour? Well, I'm about to tell you all about it, SPOILERS and all. The movie is filmed in the 1970s and it starts out with Christopher, a playwright, celebrating his most recent play. This old old OLD woman he never met before approaches him and says, "Come back to me." He doesn't know what she's talking about and she gives him one of those turn of the century pocket watches. The lady leaves and he does some research to learn that she was this famous actress from the 1920s and 1930s. He sees her picture (it's Jane Seymour) and just can't stop staring at it, he immediately falls in love. So he finds this scientist and finds a way to go back in time and meet her. He's transported to her time when both are young and limber and the sparks fly! Of course, something happens and his transported back to his time. He's so heartbroken that he stops eating and drinking an dies. Then the movie shows them being reunited in heaven.

Sorry, I'm rambling now. No, my love for Bruce is not that deep. But it was the only movie I could think of to justify having a crush on a dead man.

(photo from

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