Thursday, September 13, 2007

Watching 'Heroes' Nekkid



This will come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, but every once in a while I struggle with my swagger. Even though 99.9 percent of the time I profess to be a queen and insert my name into damn near every song lyric I can find (Lately, it's Dream's 'Shawty You a 10'), I'm actually quite shy and insecure. Close your mouths, it's true.







One of my biggest issues has been naked phobia. Basically, I'm a bit uncomfortable being 'nekkid,' as well as having the folks around me in the buck. This was a nickname that some relatives gave my issue, but after googling it, I found out that it is actually a real problem. I wouldn't say I have a major dose of this phobia, after all, I have been able to get over it in certain situations. I have no clue where I developed it either. Maybe that whole thing in middle school where you have to undress in the locker room with all the other girls. Or maybe it's a general feeling of inadequacy with my own figure, which is something I still struggle with today. I wonder if I would have this problem if I had a bigger chest, flatter stomach and curves. Hmmm.







Anyway, I decided to cure myself. I didn't do any googling or call any 1-800 numbers for advice, I simply found my own way to make my body image better. For about a week, I slept in nothing more than my skin.







This wasn't the first time I slept with nothing on, but it was definitely the first time I did it for a continuous period. I heard people talk about how addicting it is to lie in bed and feel the sheets on your bare skin, how freeing the whole thing is. I wanted to join that club, so I shed my garmets.







For a while, I had a ritual going. I'd hop in the shower, oil down, stand in front of my mirror in the nude and chant 'I love myself, I love myself' a few times and then crawl into bed. At first, it felt a little strange, but then I got used to it. Of course, once my alarm clock came off, I reached for my robe with a quickness.







So far, I'm not addicted to sleeping in the nude, but I don't hate it either. I'm just going with the flow, seeing if I can heal myself. I don't have any answers yet. I do know that I did gain one thing from sleeping nekkid. A cold! It might be time to break out the jammies.

(Photo from http://www.thaicraftstore.com/images/e820_10.jpg)

9 comments:

mlle smith said...

I do this, but purely because I'm too lazy to do my own laundry and wash my pjs. Also, I'm too cheap to pay money for clothes that no one will see me in anyway...so I refuse to pay for pjs.

Yes, I know...twisted (and superficial) thinking. !!!!

I find it comfortable, ONLY if the fan is on at the same time and I have a light coverlet over me, though...

Tha L said...

Hey sis! For some strange reason, I always assume that everyone sleeps nekkid...i rarely wear clothes when at home, at least when it's warm (and I don't have the best body image either, i just find clothes too restricting)

You're gunna call me crazy, but you should try spending a whole day nekkid...on a saturday when you have nowhere to go & nothing to do. the sleeping part is easy, but spending a whole day AWAKE with your body might help speed up the self love process.

Peace!!

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Thanks for chiming in, ladies! That's a good point, L. I'll have to try it. I'll keep ya'll posted. Who knows, maybe one day I'll get a side job as a nude model in an art class! Hmmm.... maybe not!

Ananda said...

that's great that you are connecting with your self and body. we women have to do that. sleeping in the nude and doing yoga help me a lot. peace and love, ananda

ps: i just discovered your blog and will visit again.

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Thanks, Ananda and welcome!

motownrunnergirl said...

i'm with mlle smith. sometimes i go to sleep with clothes on and find myself waking up at some point feeling completely claustrophobic and have to rip my clothes off. andrew (remember him?) and i once went to a nudist beach on martha's vineyard and we played frisbee, made sand castles and basically hung out all day naked. it was fantastic!!! it really felt like the most normal thing ever. you should try that some time. especially cuz you're closer to this beach than i am.

Juicy77 said...

Awww, don’t be insecure Strength! I can relate – at least to the other people’s nudity and the sleeping in the buff problem (although I have always wanted to visit a nude beach.) I too am uncomfortable with other people’s nudity (well, unless it’s a boyfriend). It’s odd because my family always walked around in their underwear. Hmmm, maybe that’s the root of my problem. I always hated it. I don’t like sleeping naked either. It could be 100 degrees and I will feel cold. Although I have been known to unknowingly strip in my sleep (only to wake up when the chill hits me and put the jammies back on). I even sleep in my underwear. (That’s actually unhealthy so I’m trying to get out of that habit but it’s hard.) I have this fear that a spider (or some other insect) will crawl into my cooch and consequently, I don’t rest well. lol

However, I am pretty comfy with my own nudity. I like to look at myself naked and I do it several times a day. I go out braless sometimes and make people uncomfortable. I even pose in front of the mirror and get a real kick out of it. TMI, I know. It started as an obsession with growing a bigger butt (I always felt like my butt was too small) and it morphed into appreciating what I like about my body. Now it’s just a habit. (Does that make me some sort of deviant??)

I also believe women should take a look down below every day – just to make sure there are no changes and to be sure you’re familiar with your own body, but you may not be ready for that. Baby steps!

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

That's an interesting point, Motown, thanks for chiming in.

Juicy, you, however, have further set me back in my naked phobia with your spider comment. I think I'm going to sleep in a coat and longjohns from now on. Sheesh. Thanks alot!

Juicy77 said...

My bad