Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Enough is Enough (Or: My Name Is Not Whoopi)

Blogger: Um, excuse me, but what are you doing here? I know you don’t think you can fall back into my good graces after being gone so long.

Strength: Sorry, B, baby, it’s just that some things have been happening, things out of my control.

Blogger: Psfh! We all have things that happen. That’s why I’m here! You’re supposed to use me to vent. Were you cheating on me?? Was it Typepad? Or Wordpress? I swear, I’ll kill them futhermuckas!

Strength: No, there’s nobody else but you.

Blogger: For real? Well dang…. Where have you been?

Strength: It’s just so hard. I’ve been really busy. Must I remind you that I’m a graduate student? I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursday nights. Plus, I take guitar on Monday evenings. Not to mention my full time job and all the other work I have to do throughout the week.

Blogger: Blah, blah, blah. Don’t beat me in the head with bullshit.

Strength: I’m going to do better now. I promise.

Blogger: Hmph. I feel like I’ve heard it all before. It’s like you don’t even love me in 2008. This year, you celebrate our anniversary, your birthday and poof! You vanished. Into thin air!

Strength: I know, I know. But I’m back now. I’ll try not to go away that long ever again. I’m trying to get it together. Can you bear with me?

Blogger (sniffs): I thought you loved me.

Strength: I do. It’s just that life has a way of getting in the way of things. Will you give me another chance?

Blogger: Maybe. What do you have for me now?

Strength: Well, I wanted to discuss my feelings on being 31.

Blogger (sarcastically): Oh, how exciting. Next!

Strength: I can write about how I’ve been compared to Whoopi Goldberg on three separate occasions since I’ve gotten my hair loc’ed.

Blogger: Ohh!!! Go on.

Strength: And I can write about how each day, I’m forced to tame my inner Hood Chick from giving folks a beatdown.

Blogger: Well, now you’ve got me.

Strength: I live to make you happy.

Blogger: You better.

Strength: I love you, Bloggerlicious.

Blogger: Don’t call me that in public! You know how I feel about PDA.

Strength: Sorry.


Tha L said...

Whatup mommi! You've been missed. I would talk some smack, but it seems that ya boy B got it handled. Don't let it happen again LOL!

Juicy77 said...

Certifiably insane
Loves it!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Glad you're back. :)

Blackgirl On Mars said...

U DO HAVE IT TOGETHER! (and don't ever forget that!)
thanks for visiting me & i look forward to reading more! as an ex-nyc publishing employee--i hear you girl, i totally hear you!

Nicole said...

Yay! And forget Blogger, I'd like to hear how you feel about being 31.

A said...

I hear you

motownrunnergirl said...