Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Meatballs. Sneezes. Toes.


There is nothing worse than being sick on a holiday. Believe me, I know. The one other time I can remember being sick on a holiday was when I was a young girl and it was Thanksgiving. I think I had the mumps or measles or something that starts with an M. Anyway, I was sitting around feeling so miserable as I watched my Grandma stuff the turkey and everyone around me having fun as I was curled up in my blankets. Young Strength was not a happy camper.

However, this year I had the pleasure of being sick once again. This time it wasn’t anything majorly serious, just a cold. But a cold that came with a fever, chills, sweats and severe loss of appetite. It pissed me off to the high heavens. But the fact that I have an idea where I contracted this cold makes it even worse.

See, we had an office party last week. This was not the traditional party my job normally throws – instead of going to restaurant and eating and drinking to our heart’s content, the cheap powers that be decided to have an alcohol-free office party. My colleagues and I weren’t too happy about it, but we endured.

There was a ton of food there and I was particularly interested in the crockpot of meatballs. I suspected that my coworker, Jane, a master chef, fixed the meatballs since I saw her lugging in a similar crockpot earlier in the day. I fixed myself a meatball sandwich and devoured it until my heart’s content. Good times. It wasn’t until much later did I learn that Daisy, my sniffling, sneezing, hygienically challenged coworker, cooked the meatballs. Already, I could just picture her blowing her nose over the crockpot, filling it with all of her germs. But it was too late – I already ate her meal.

It took three days for my cold -- The Meatball Virus -- to fully incapacitate me. I blew my nose so many times that my nostrils turned red. My eyes watered so much, people thought I was touched by the Holy Ghost. My voice got so deep and raspy that I sounded a bit like Tone Loc must sound first thing in the morning. I infected others, too. People who were brave enough to come near me came down with fevers, sore throats and laryngitis. My illness is the gift that just keeps on giving.

I was supposed to work on Christmas Eve, but because of my condition, I was more than happy to call out sick. I spent the entire day in bed, wishing I could taste my food. The only thing that kept me sane was watching the first season of ‘Prison Break’ on dvd. The main guy, Wentworth Miller, really didn’t do anything for me until I started watching the show. They have this one episode where they cut off two of my boys’ toes. The doctor stitches him up and asks him if he is okay and he says, “toes are overrated.” That is the kind of man I need in my life. What dedication! Now I just have to move on to season 2 and see what other surprises he has for me.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a happy holiday! I’m still recovering, but I’m back at work and I hope to be able to breathe through my nose sometime soon. Hooray!

6 comments:

eclat said...

I'm not kidding when I say that I don't eat food that was made by someone else, and even though people laugh and call me Monk (hmph!) this is the reason why. YUCK!

It really doesn't make sense, though, because I do eat at restaurants. Hm.

Glad you're feeling better...I was sick JUST before Christmas (French host made it happen), but it went away in time for Christmas day.

Happy holidays, Strength!

motownrunnergirl said...

germs.

:|

liz said...

two words: hand sanitizer.
i keep a jug at work.
stay strong!

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Thanks for chiming in, guys!

@eclat: That's hilarious, Monk!

@Motown: I know. Gross!

@Liz: I'll definitely have to invest. It's strange that I would catch anything, since I'm so careful about germs at work. I guess I'll have to take the handwashing to another level!

Mizrepresent said...

i love your blog...that story was too funny...so sad about the meatball sandwich though. Hope you are feeling better!

Camille said...

Hope you're better now! Meatball sandwiches can be questionable...:)