I arrive at work to find my desk covered in dust. The workers are doing something dreadful to the roof and our desks are the latest casualty. I’m peeved as I wipe the dust away and subsequently disinfect everything, including my trusty coffee mug. I prepare for work when the roofers start banging and banging on the roof to the point that I feel like I’m working in a war zone.
It isn’t until a supervisor walks by and gives me a compliment, do I realize what day it is. (This is a supervisor whom I dislike on a professional level, but I imagine her being cool outside of work). She tells me that she likes my hair and that she can tell I just got it done. I thank her, but then I start thinking, WTF? Yeah, I did get my hair done over the weekend, but what was wrong with it last week? Is she trying to tell me that my hair is busted? Like she, of all people, needs to talk about anyone's hair! Then the woman who sits on the other side of my cube makes several phone calls to tell everyone about the 16 bags of leaves she and her hubby had to carry over the weekend. I swear, I had to listen to the story about the 16 bags 16 different times, including the time she told me about it when we walked in. I’ve barely drunk my first cup of tea before I close my eyes and make an honest to goodness pledge to punch her in the throat if she mentions them damn leaves one more time.
And that’s when it hits me. PMS.
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Those days when nothing goes right and you find yourself doing everyone in the vicinity bodily harm. Today, I’m in the constant state of waiting and anticipation. Days like this, I know it’s going to come, feel it’s going to come and I race to the bathroom several times only to realize that it hasn’t come. Sigh.
Today, I could split the jugular of a male colleague who tried to talk to me as I nearly fainted from mind-boggling cramps. I mean seriously, James, now is not the time for you to brag about how you beat me in fantasy football yesterday. If you value your life, and that of your descendants, you will back away from me with a quickness. Naturally, I don't say this but I think it, real hard. And he backs away. I’m so glad.
This evening, I will deal with a combination of my thrilling research class and Trudy. And theoretically after that, I’m going to be meeting up with a former coworker who has since moved out of the state and is gracing us with her presence for one night only. Theoretically, I’m going to be prim and proper throughout the night. At least that’s the hope. Cuz if anyone acts up tonight, I promise to rip the 2-liter Pepsi from Trudy and toss it in the face of anyone who gets in my way. Today ain’t the day folks. Back away!!!
It isn’t until a supervisor walks by and gives me a compliment, do I realize what day it is. (This is a supervisor whom I dislike on a professional level, but I imagine her being cool outside of work). She tells me that she likes my hair and that she can tell I just got it done. I thank her, but then I start thinking, WTF? Yeah, I did get my hair done over the weekend, but what was wrong with it last week? Is she trying to tell me that my hair is busted? Like she, of all people, needs to talk about anyone's hair! Then the woman who sits on the other side of my cube makes several phone calls to tell everyone about the 16 bags of leaves she and her hubby had to carry over the weekend. I swear, I had to listen to the story about the 16 bags 16 different times, including the time she told me about it when we walked in. I’ve barely drunk my first cup of tea before I close my eyes and make an honest to goodness pledge to punch her in the throat if she mentions them damn leaves one more time.
And that’s when it hits me. PMS.
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Those days when nothing goes right and you find yourself doing everyone in the vicinity bodily harm. Today, I’m in the constant state of waiting and anticipation. Days like this, I know it’s going to come, feel it’s going to come and I race to the bathroom several times only to realize that it hasn’t come. Sigh.
Today, I could split the jugular of a male colleague who tried to talk to me as I nearly fainted from mind-boggling cramps. I mean seriously, James, now is not the time for you to brag about how you beat me in fantasy football yesterday. If you value your life, and that of your descendants, you will back away from me with a quickness. Naturally, I don't say this but I think it, real hard. And he backs away. I’m so glad.
This evening, I will deal with a combination of my thrilling research class and Trudy. And theoretically after that, I’m going to be meeting up with a former coworker who has since moved out of the state and is gracing us with her presence for one night only. Theoretically, I’m going to be prim and proper throughout the night. At least that’s the hope. Cuz if anyone acts up tonight, I promise to rip the 2-liter Pepsi from Trudy and toss it in the face of anyone who gets in my way. Today ain’t the day folks. Back away!!!
12 comments:
Girl, I hope you feel better. I'm in the same boat, too. But in my case, my brain has tricked me into thinking I need to eat everything within reaching distance. And if you have to punch Trudy in her trachea one good time, nobody will be mad at you. ;)
Hek, at least you admit when you have PMS as opposed to just saying you're in a bad mood or something
hi honey!!!!!!!
Thanks for the support guys. Happily, I didn't have to kill anyone today, not even Trudy. Let's hope for the same tomorrow.
Hi Motown!!
This was SOOO funny....lol @ "pledge to punch her in the throat". Omg, I laughed aloud.
Funny thing is, I'm the same way when I'm PMS'ing. I've been taking St. John's Wort since I got to France, though...to prevent me from going apecrap with a hard ass baguette in hand. :ol
I love how the labels for this post are life, PMS
and by the way, am I the only guy who reads this
Surprisingly, you are not my only male reader, Andrew Isaac. However, you are probably my only regular male reader! And I'm sure most guys would rather abstain from talking about this topic. This post may have scared them away! But PMS = Life. Hah!
Ouch, s/c/w, i hear u. yesterday was that day for me...today's even worse becuz these damn cramps kept me up half the nite. anyway, i'll holla in about a week, when things calm down a bit...**backs away cautiously**
what former coworker was visiting!??
No one u know, Motown. Someone that I used to work with here, that has subsequently moved to sunny Cali.
It's been a pet project of mine to find out exactly who you are.
Good luck with that, Kenji!
Post a Comment