Friday, July 06, 2007

I Walk The Line

One of the many special aspects of my job is the location of my seating area. My desk separates another department filled with older graying women from the young bucks in my department, whom are mostly in their early 20s. (The other 30 year old quit recently, making me the oldest person in my job). The geography of my seat means that I hear a variety of conversations from the older women on my left -- there's the flurry about hot flashes, new grandchildren and widowdom. And on my right side, there's talk about concerts, bridal showers and Britney Spears.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both groups -- the Baby Boomers and the Gen Y'ers. The lead Boomer, D, has her good qualities, but she's generally the most annoying woman on the face of this earth. If ever I'm talking to one of the Gen Y'ers about something that doesn't concern her, she'll but in with one of her tales of how things were when she was growing up in 19whatever. Everyone else will ignore her -- but because of where I sit and because I respect my elders -- I nod and give her my pity laugh. (My pity laugh is what I use as a repsonse to a story that's not as funny as the storyteller believes it is). But I'm not so polite that I'm unable to get a laugh or two at D's expense. One day, she turned to another Boomer and said, "LOL, Sandy! That's what all the kids are saying these days. LOL!" I couldn't resist turning to a Gen Yer and cracking up. D and I occasionaly do the same with the Gen Yers. "Did you hear that, D?" I once said to her. "Sally said her boyfriend is old. He's 26." And we both rolled our eyes.

The biggest problem with my position in the office is the gas. For all of you who have been exposed to the elderly, you know that there is nothing like those silent deadly farts that they release without abandon. Sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk and I'll be hit with an awful stench that smells like rotten eggs mixed with cow dung. It's so bad that my eyes water and my eyebrows practically jump off of my face. I'm the first one to smell it and often I'm the only one to smell it. The farts are so bad that I have to leave the room, just to get some air. And once I return, all the Boomers are diligently typing away on their computers, as if they've done nothing wrong. The jerks. If only there was something I could slip in their coffee to make that stench lest rank. Hmmmm. I'll have to work on that.


mlle smith said...

Pretty gross. :0l

The part about your eyebrows jumping off of your face made me "LOL".


Stories like this make me miss the US! Just the easy conversations and exchanges Americans can have with each other. It's one of the things I love most about the US. :0)

Tha L said...

Eewwww....nasty, old people smells. :-)

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Indeed! Aren't I the lucky one?

motownrunnergirl said...

i have a personal aversion to the letters LOL. i much rather use ha ha ha or heee heeee or aaaaahhhhh or FUNNY!!! not sure why. i think it goes with my general neurosis which you are quite familiar with.

and regarding the gas, i'm not sure what to say. i know that i have subjected many a people to bengay, not because i'm old, but because i tend to be hurting from some awful thing i did to my body. but most people identify that smell with old age. so i think people think 'old' for sure when they see/smell me approach. i do think farts are worse tho.

btw, i do feel like one of the old ones in my department too. my editor is 28!!! that's like almost a whole decade younger than me. sigghhh.

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

I also have an aversion to LOL! But that mainly stems from my friend, whom I wrote about before:

And believe me, Ben Gay would be much more pleasant than the smells I have to endure!

Opinionated Diva said...


When I was in my early 20's I worked with a bunch of old biddies at an insurance company. They ALWAYS complained about their "power surges"...they were some nosey heffas too..ALWAYS listening to my phone conversations.

Today I'm glad to work with 95% men!

Were I you, I would get a can of lysol and spray that can every time someone let loose a silent deadly one.

motownrunnergirl said...

hey queen, what's your novel about? are any of your characters based loosely or not so loosely on anyone we know?? i bet there's a lot of material in the d for a good juicy novel. well???

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Opinionated Diva: Apparently, older women everywhere are the same! I'll take your advice on that Lysol. Shoot, I might even bring in some Febreze.

Motown: I can't really talk too much about my book b/c it's still a first draft and you know, this is the web. Maybe I'll email u about it. I will say it's a story about a teenage boy. I haven't decided if it's a young adult novel for young adults or an adult novel that just so happens to be about a young adult. We'll see. I've got 65,000 words now. Whoo-hoo!!!