"Hello, may I speak to Strength/Courage/Wisdom?"
"Yes, this is her."
"Hi, I'm calling from Sprint to alert you of a service upgrade. No need to worry, this call will not affect your minutes."
"That's great. But I'm in traffic right now. Is there any way you can call me back --"
"Are you happy with your current service plan?"
"I'd say so, yes."
"I see that currently you have 450 minutes a month and you pay $xxx. Is that right?"
"I think so, but again, I'm driving. If I could look at my paperwork and call you back ..."
"Well, to thank you for being such a good customer, we're going to give you additional minutes and an additional phone line for an extra $xx a month! How does that sound?"
"Fine. But --"
"This way, you could have another phone for anyone else in your family for an inexpensive rate. This is only available to our best customers, S/C/W. You've been with us for six years, right? This is to make sure that you won't ever leave us. Ever!"
"I wasn't planning to leave, but --"
"If I could just get your authorization, I could start the paperwork on your new account right now."
"Sorry, I'm not interested. I have no use for a second phone."
"Oh come on, S/C/W!! Surely your family members could use another phone to keep in touch with you during the day! If not your husband, then maybe your kids. I'm sure they could use a phone."
"That's just it. I'm single. I couldn't use the phone for anyone else."
*Silence*
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"I'm here. Strength, surely you could use our phone. There's got to be someone, anyone ...!!"
"Nope. Sorry."
"Well, that changes everything. Thank you for being a Sprint customer."
"But wait! I did want to upgrade my phone. Do I still get the rebate for that?"
"(Sucking teeth) I guess. That's not my department. I'm strictly for our family rewards program."
"Oh. Then why are you calling me?"
"Good question, Strength. Anyway, thanks again for choosing Sprint. You have a nice day."
1 comment:
ned and phone companies are equally evil in my world.
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