Saturday, June 16, 2007

Upgrade U

"Hello, may I speak to Strength/Courage/Wisdom?"

"Yes, this is her."

"Hi, I'm calling from Sprint to alert you of a service upgrade. No need to worry, this call will not affect your minutes."

"That's great. But I'm in traffic right now. Is there any way you can call me back --"

"Are you happy with your current service plan?"

"I'd say so, yes."

"I see that currently you have 450 minutes a month and you pay $xxx. Is that right?"

"I think so, but again, I'm driving. If I could look at my paperwork and call you back ..."

"Well, to thank you for being such a good customer, we're going to give you additional minutes and an additional phone line for an extra $xx a month! How does that sound?"

"Fine. But --"

"This way, you could have another phone for anyone else in your family for an inexpensive rate. This is only available to our best customers, S/C/W. You've been with us for six years, right? This is to make sure that you won't ever leave us. Ever!"

"I wasn't planning to leave, but --"

"If I could just get your authorization, I could start the paperwork on your new account right now."

"Sorry, I'm not interested. I have no use for a second phone."

"Oh come on, S/C/W!! Surely your family members could use another phone to keep in touch with you during the day! If not your husband, then maybe your kids. I'm sure they could use a phone."

"That's just it. I'm single. I couldn't use the phone for anyone else."


"Hello? Is anyone there?"

"I'm here. Strength, surely you could use our phone. There's got to be someone, anyone ...!!"

"Nope. Sorry."

"Well, that changes everything. Thank you for being a Sprint customer."

"But wait! I did want to upgrade my phone. Do I still get the rebate for that?"

"(Sucking teeth) I guess. That's not my department. I'm strictly for our family rewards program."

"Oh. Then why are you calling me?"

"Good question, Strength. Anyway, thanks again for choosing Sprint. You have a nice day."

1 comment:

motownrunnergirl said...

ned and phone companies are equally evil in my world.