Dear Netflix administrators:
Do you remember me? I'm Strength/Courage/Wisdom, from No Cable Avenue. Surely you remember me shrieking when I called your shipping office at midnight to report that the DVD for Chungking Express wasn't working. Or maybe you'll recall a few of my more infamous phone calls when I was angered to see that there wasn't a new DVD awaiting me in the mailbox? Ah, good. I thought you'd remember me.
I'm writing to address a problem that I have with your service. Overall, I'm happy with my account. I'm on the three DVD plan, which gives me an unlimited number of movies for a month. That comes in handy for people like myself, who, er, have no cable. But I have one major problem that is getting in the way of my viewing schedule -- your staff only delivers movies five days a week.
A break on Sundays, I can understand, since no mail is being delivered then anyway. But no shipments on Saturday? I mean, why come?!!! I do my part -- I watch the flicks and I mail them back, just like you tell me. But there is nothing more frustrating than to return a movie on a Thursday, possibly risking not getting another one mailed to me until the following Monday (meaning it may not get to me until Wednesday). That leaves me with two movies for the weekend. TWO!! I only get about four channels clearly, enabling me to watch endless repeats of "King of Queens" and "Friends". And even those channels fade to the blue screen at the most critical moments, like punchlines. I need your people to work with me here!
I have 37 movies in my netflix queue, not including the three I'll get this week -- "The Princess Diaries," "The Princess Diaries II" and "Hannah and Her Sisters" (forgive me, it's Woody Allen). I'm also wondering if your people would consider getting more things on DVD that's only accessible to cable viewers -- things like the BET Awards, the MTV Music Awards. Or maybe even something from the Style Network? Oh, yes. That would be great! I can't take another day camped out at my parents' place pretending I love them, when I really just want to watch "How Do I Look" and "The Look for Less." You gotta help me!!
I know what you're thinking and the answer is no. I will not go back to cable. I refuse to pay to watch television. My life is so much better now that I've eliminated that factor from my life. But it would be even better if you all made the changes I've suggested. Thank you for your time.
Yours in movie love,