Goals

What you see here is an addict.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to the school supply aisle of any grocery or drugstore. I know that that’s where I can find the items that feed my pen and paper addiction. It is there that containers of pens, pencils, folders, heck, even sharpeners, really turn me on. I’ve learned to discipline myself into only buying these tools when absolutely necessary. But it is a struggle.

I can’t say the same for my addiction to binders. Notebooks, loose leaf and composition books? Gotta have them. And I pick them up every chance I get. Within these pages, I write my daily to-do lists, short stories and even the beginnings of novels. And even after said novel or short story is completed, I like to keep these handwritten pages as a rough draft of my beginnings. So I often have multiple binders available. The used ones are stored on my top closet shelf as shown above.

Recently, I stumbled upon a notebook that I began in 2010 (I also date each entry). In it, I had a list of things I was unsatisfied with in my life and how I’d go about changing them. I put the notebook away and forgot all about it. But when I found it the other day, I realized I’d completed quite a few of these goals without even remembering the list. I knew these notebooks would take me somewhere!

A Tale of a Fateful (Blogging) Trip: The Minnow is Not Lost

When I think about my blog I can't help but think of Gilligan's Island. That's the TV show where a bunch of folks were stranded on a deserted island and something always prevented them from getting back home. (I also think the show had closely related themes with Good Times, but that's for another post). These days, I feel like the Gilligan of the blogosphere.

I started this blog seven years ago with no plans whatsoever. I thought it would be a hobby. A place to vent my frustrations, A forum to laugh at my own jokes.

Imagine my surprise when I became immersed in the blogging world. I discovered great new blogs and all these wonderful writers were discovering my site and I was discovering theirs. It was a great forum for meeting people, but not really meeting people, if you get my drift. Suddenly, I had contacts around the country - maybe the world - and I could learn from their experiences.

But things changed, and that's where the Gilligan part comes in. I feel like I'm on a deserted island because a lot of my blogging buddies have disappeared. They've either shut down their sites or post so infrequently that I wonder about their well being. I don't post much anymore either, but one reason for that is because my regular crew isn't around to read them.

Oh, woe is me, right? Enough of the pity party. I've been terribly busy, so I haven't had the time to blog. that doesn't mean I've stopped writing, I've just been doing it in other venues. Now I'm trying to get my mojo back on this blogging thing. Yes, I'm still upset about the absence of my blogging friends (I won't mention any names, but you know who you are (!!L!!!)), but all I can do is keep my head down, blog like hell and hope for their safe return.

Sure, I'll Be A Role Model

 Today was day one of my eight-week session of being a role model. A professional organization I belong to needed volunteers to help with a weekend workshop they were doing with high school students and I agreed to participate. Sure, it takes a commitment of getting up early on Saturday mornings and spending a full day with teenagers, but the opportunity intrigued me. And let's be honest, I'm always looking for new things to put on my resume.

This was an orientation day, so the coordinator introduced everyone and a keynote speaker addressed the audience. I also spoke to a few students and parents who were curious about what I did for a living. I only felt old twice - once when I had to explain who Maria Schriver was ( long story) and another time when a high school girl told me that she was so overwhelmed with career possibilities that she'd likely push back having children until she was at least 30. And then she gasped. And then I side eyed.

Naturally, I found an adorable boy I would have loved to have in my group. He had that nerdy teenage awkwardness, but he was so smart and so sweet that he made me think "awww" at least 9858457454545748 times. And then there was another boy I immediately didn't want in my group. He also had that same nerdy teenage awkwardness, but he seemed to think it was swagger. He made me think "shut up" at least 9858457454545748. Then we separated into our groups. Guess who was in mine? I'll give you a hint - I won't be saying aww for the next eight weeks.

Anyway, that's the evolution of my Saturday. As soon as I finish this post, I have to get caught up on my own writing which I've neglected all week. And later tonight, my real weekend will start! That's my hope, anyway.

Deadbeat

So here I am, a deadbeat blogger, simply writing a post because I need to get it done. I can freely admit that this will be a half-ass blog post. You may wonder why I'm bothering to write anything at all, if I'm going to be so cavalier about it. Well, I'll explain. I looked at my calendar the other day, and realized my sixth blogday is quickly approaching. I usually use that time to reflect on things I've written about over the last year or so. But now, as I take inventory of the past few months, I haven't written a whole hell of a lot. And for that I apologize. In short -- things have been good with me. There's been some bad, but thankfully, the good has outweighed the bad. And that's about all I can ask for. You'll hear from me again very soon, I promise!!!

Cash Rules Everything Around Me (CREAM)

Now, I'm not a blog jacker, let me say that up front. But if I see that one of my blog peeps is going through a tribulation similar to mine, well darnit, I'm gonna write about it. First, read here about how folks are trying to be shady with The L's money. Crazy scenario, right? Now allow me to piggy back on her plight.

I've been CRAZY busy. Good busy, but busy just the same. I learned in April that I won a creative writing award from my university. Awesome news. I play a little midday hooky to get down to the university where the grad and undergrad students were given certificates and checks. But my antenna was raised when I was given a certificate and a promise that I would get my check "soon." *side eye* (there will be an upcoming post about my years at this university)

I'm an optimistic person. When you tell me I'm going to win money, I make plans. I was going to repay my parents the money I owe, get a new camera, upgrade my guitar, and do my saving/investing hussle. Everyday I checked my mailbox, only to be greeted with nothing.

So I sent a polite email to my professor that if you read closely, spelled out WHY YOU TRYIN TO STICK ME FOR MY PAPERS? She told me that the university is now having "an issue" with the foundation that administers the awards. This foundation had wanted me to apply again (side eye/head roll/two snaps in a circle), but the university is trying to get it resolved on their own. I'm supposed to be given a check within the month. Let's hope I do. You can't imagine how violent I get when I think about the money that hasn't been sent my way. It's enough to make me wanna cut somebody's face off.

Birth of a Thesis

I have recently given birth, and unlike many new mothers I can say unequivocally that I despise my child. Ok, it’s not a child, exactly, but a 170-page 36,000-word document that has caused me to exist on nothing but bananas and green tea for the last several weeks. Yes, I’m talking about my thesis, or as I affectionately call it, Hemorrhoid.

In the early stages of my Hemorrhoid pregnancy, I was excited. Yes, there were the usual bouts of morning sickness that comes with assembling my committee, making my topic as specific as possible, structuring my abstract and review of literature, but I knew it would all pay off in the end. I looked forward to the day little Hemorrhoid was in my arms, beaming up at me with my name in print.

Months passed and I realized this would be a difficult pregnancy. One member of my committee had gone MIA, another forgot all about Hemorrhoid and the committee chair put me on a diet that stretched my baby beyond anything I’d ever imagined. But again, I was excited. Thrilled even. How long is your typical pregnancy? Nine months? More specifically, 40 weeks? I could handle that.

Two years and some change later, I remained face up, legs spread as members of my committee used various instruments to pull, heave and even drag Hemorrhoid from my womb. A portion of Hemorrhoid’s bloody body was extricated in time for me to meet with The Big Man this week. The Big Man has the final say on all things thesis, and if he doesn’t like an aspect of your formatting – don’t come with a ‘…’ when you should come with a ‘. . . ‘—then it’s over. The two members of my committee and I hemmed and hawed over the measurement of page numbers at the bottom, the MIA member told me his middle intial on the signature page was incorrect, etc etc. Like all mothers in labor, I pushed and pushed and I pushed until it came out to the way it was supposed to be. I paid my $200 to have Hemorrhoid bound and copyrighted (a copy for me and a copy for the school) and I was on my way to the Big Man.

Well, what can I say about my meeting with The Big Man? A LOT, but I’ll keep it brief. The first thing he says is that my committee and I have been working off of an out of date checklist, which means that I didn’t have all the materials he needed and that my formatting was again, incorrect. And since said out of date checklist was created, the fees for the thesis have gone down, so in the amount I paid, I actually bought THREE copies of the thesis (Happy birthday, Mom) instead of my desired two. So I had to go back to work on my day off to do some hasty reformatting (took me six hours), switching to pdf, signing and faxing before I could send dear Hemorrhoid away.

But you know how they say never look back? Well I do, often. My dear pdf version of Hemorrhoid has blank pages in the file, a wrong completion date and page numbers with issues. I can’t make any corrections now, I just have to wait for the grad school to come back with their revisions and/or instructions for me to go straight to hell because Hemorrhoid is such a mess. It’s only fitting that everytime I turn on the radio, Cee Lo is screaming for me to … uh…. ‘forget’ everyone who has made my life a mess.

So I’ve been trying to listen to Cee Lo as I make mani/pedi plans for next week. World Tuberculosis Day is coming up and I hope to spend it with a tiara on my head, Hill Harper in my bed and Chaka Khan’s ‘I’m Every Woman’ in my soul. And no Hemorrhoid is getting in the way of that.

Photo from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ60QyfWxZitR9zhyph4KPSv_1lDQ23kfNjwNE9sjo4UKEMuxI4lizkUmW8Ra0khlvVAVW-d35pUrZy6hqxniHB6RxFqeaF7JyPu4DL-XwzeHgQjzWjmHdPoHfGyK0TruiKrRmdw/s400/thesis+draft.jpeg

Catching Up 2011

Happy new year! I, for one, am happy to give 2010 a big ole kiss goodbye. The year started out wonderfully, then it got a little bad, then it got ugly, and then things started to turn around. So its onward and upward for 2011, and I’m looking forward to it. Here’s a few things that have been going on.

-Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? My new uncle, that’s who. It’s never been a secret that my granddaddy got around (my grandparents’ marriage was null and void a loooong time ago), and there were rumors of other children circulating for YEARS. So some of us weren’t so surprised when my auntie got a call saying she had an adult brother living in another state who would like to meet the family and get to know us. Said uncle is about four years older than me. Gramps, you got some ‘splaining to do.

-Whip My Hair Back and Forth. In 2010, I decided I needed to make a few changes in my life. One of those changes was getting rid of my locs. I sat in my aunt/hairdresser/therapist’s chair and watched with dry eyes as she cut off my nearly butt length hair. I kept going back repeatedly as she combed and conditioned then press n curled me into someone I hadn’t seen in about five years. I was calm as I placed one of my locs in a plastic baggie and inserted it into my diary. My resolve started to break as I tried to get back in the routine of maintaining my own hair. I did NOT miss the burnt smell of curling irons and flat irons, constantly freaking out every time it rains and keeping a ponytail holder nearby in case of emergencies. Then there was a day I was sitting at my desk listening to Bob Marley’s ‘Buffalo Soldier’ and I ran to the bathroom in tears. Oh, how I miss my dreads.

-Hey, Young World. Because 2010 has been so challenging for me, I decided to relaign the universe by making it better for other people. Well, just my younger cousin. I mentioned before how I wanted to fix him up with a girl at my gym. I eventually told him about her, but I was worried about how he would react. I imagined a variety of responses: “Stay outta my business.” “Why should I trust you?” “Does she have a big booty?” But he gave me a simple, three word answer. “Hook it up.” I worked my magic, did a little Facebook picture exchange and now they are flirting in the social networking realm. I hope they name their first child after me.

-Goals. I don’t have any New Year’s traditions, but writer Tayari Jones gave me a cool idea. So I took a sheet of paper and listed 10 things from 2010 that I’m letting out of my life, and 10 things that I’m letting in for 2011. Some of the left behinds include self doubt, depressing people and negative thoughts. I’m trading those in for an effort to surround myself with positive people, running a 5K, re-commit to guitar, and completion of novel #2.

That’s about it. I wish you a well 2011. I hope to return to a more normal blogging schedule very soon.

Productive, That's Me

I've been off the last two days and I actually got a lot accomplished. I mean, I did get some extra sleep in and did my fair share of TV watching, but I will say I was more productive than I have been on past days off.

It all started Monday. I woke up and made it to my 6 a.m. spin class. Yes, I did that, on my day off. Serious dedication over here! I came home, showered and slept a little. Then I did some revisions on the new novel in progress. (Draft 5 is really making me pull my hair out) I watched an episode of Friday Night Lights and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

And just when I was beginning to feel like a real couch potato, I got up and went to the mall. Can I just tell you there's no greater joy than going to the mall when it's empty?? And by empty, I mean no teenagers!!! No screaming kids!!! No disgruntled moms pushing in curlers pushing strollers! I tried on some new clothes and found that my spin class is really paying off. Thank goodness I was alone in the fitting room, because someone would've called mental services on me if they heard me back there jumping for joy. Because these clothes were fitting right, I just had to buy them. Then I went to a store with various collectibles and found the first part of my mother's Christmas gift. That's three people I've gotten Christmas gifts for so far. I'm on a roll!

Today, I was up early because maintenance needed to get inside to check my filter and change my smoke detector batteries. While I was awake, I did laundry, more revisions to the NIP (Novel In Progress) and a quick clean up of the kitchen. Then, of course, I fit in Friday Night Lights and Curb Your Enthusiasm. I did all of this before I had to go to campus to meet with my professor for our 2 p.m. appointment.

And it was there, at that university that I love to hate, that I learned some good news. Dr. L was pleased with my latest revisions to my thesis. In fact, she said I put too much research into the introductory section and some of that material can be used in the 'findings' sections. So all that's left for me to do is my findings and methodology portions of the paper, which, combined, shouldn't be more than 10 pages. After that, I'll put in the last chapter of my research, which is literally novel #1. Overall, I still have work to do, but not as much as I anticipated.

It was with great pride that I went to the bursar's office and applied for graduation. Sure, it cost me $75 (gulp) and a run around campus on a humid day. But inside, I keep thinking .... 'THE END IS NIGH!!!' Which will soon lead to thoughts of 'Hmmm....what's next?'


Photo of Zora Neale Hurston from http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc275/thehousenextdoor/2008/TV%20Reviews/Zora%20Neale%20Hurston%20PBS%20Schenker/Zora1loc3.jpg

The Word Warrior (Down with IKTRay)

Please excuse the absence. I’ve been too lazy to blog. Then I got to happy to blog. Then I got too sad to blog. Then I got overwhelmed with all the things that I needed to blog that I just let it fall by the wayside. But the other day, I looked in the mirror and I said, “Hey Good Lookin – It’s time to get the blog cookin’!” Corny, I know, but it got me out of the doldrums.

Today, I wanted to talk about my battle with words. There are certain phrases that people say that really make me want to cut my own skin off. I was going to call this post Bad Black Cliches, but it’s not just the BBCs that bug me (“You Go Girl” – please, let it die). There are a variety of phrases that work my nerves for reasons that I will mention here. The #1 annoying phrase is the aforementioned ‘IKTRay’ … that’s right, it’s so frustrating that I can not even bear the thought of spelling it out. But keep reading I’ll mention it soon enough.

Here’s my top five list of Phrases that Must Die, in order of least annoying to most.

5. “I’m going to the movies, do you want to come with?” Now, this one makes me cringe and smile (sminge, if you will?). My freshman year roomie introduced me to this phrase, which left my little grammarian heart searching for the direct object. We then had this discussion about how the sentence wasn’t finished and she laughed it off and said people in her town always used this phrase. We became good friends, but I still gave her the side eye whenever she used this sentence. So now, this phrase still makes me cringe, but it’ll also make me smile as I think of my old friend.

4. “I felt some kind of way.” Seriously? What way do you feel? This is a sentence that says absolutely nothing. During a phone conversation, a friend was trying to describe an argument with her boyfriend. It went something like this: “I guess he felt some kind of way, so he said this. And then I was feeling some kind of way, so I said that.” Really? That tells me nothing. God created adjectives and adverbs for a reason. Use ‘em.

3. “Look at you!” This goes back to a day when I was at my part time job, describing my full time job to my manager. She was impressed, and her way of expressing this was with a little head nob and a squeaky, “Well, look at you!” Really? I could understand if I was in kindergarten and got through lunch with crayons up my nose. That deserves an L.A.Y. But I’m an adult. Why are you looking at me? Step off.

2. “That’s what’s up.” There was an E. Lynn Harris book I read where this woman was dating a young guy who always used that phrase. It didn’t bother me until I talked to someone in real life who said it, and then my ears started to BLEED. I mean, that’s no kind of response. Me: “I got my Christmas shopping done.” Him: “That’s what’s up.” Me: “I got a new job.” Him: “That’s what’s up.” That’s just wrong, on so many levels.

And now, for the top phrase that makes me want to hurt somebody:

1. IKTRay – “I know that’s right.” If you’ve ever said this to me, you should know now that I’ve put extreme thought into your assassination. It will be big, it will be bloody, and best believe, you will not survive unless you can justify that sentence to me. You can’t, can you? The person who says this is an obvious show off. They can’t be satisified with simply saying “I know” or “That’s right.” Oh no, they have to throw the two together, in some kind of horrible word kama sutra. I despise this term so much, that I refer to it in my own form of pig Latin. Yes IKTRayers, this is what you’ve driven me to do.

Right Brain Vs Left

I’m spending the summer working on my thesis. My professor has me on a strict plan of handing this research project to her in sections over these warm months, so I can spend the year just revising, and hopefully taking advantage of some financial rewards that come with being a grad student novelist. (Fingers crossed)

Dr L has received about a third of my work and we’re going to chat soon about what I’ve written so far. That makes me nervous and excited. Nervous because Dr L is an intimidating presence. I mean, she’s got the kind of soft voice that can make you feel like you’ve done a really good job. But she also has this look in her eyes that let you know that she can immediately turn into Angry Black Mother at any given time. Thankfully, she hasn’t gone ABM on me.

The biggest struggle I’m facing with this whole process is my rebelling Left Brain, my creative side. Thankfully, my thesis is part research and part novel that I’ve previously written, so I mainly have to focus on the research portion. At the same time, I’m revising another fiction novel that takes up a bit of my time. So it’s hard to go from my analytical Right Brain to my rebellious Left Brain on a daily basis.

I managed to set a schedule for the NIP (Novel In Progress). The goal is to write at least 1,500 words a day, five days a week. I have index cards for each day of the week, noting how many words I should reach by any given day and I check each number off once I’m done. Sometimes I wake up at 5 a.m. to write. Other times I’m up till midnight. And there are some weekends where I’m in front of that computer trying to catch up on the writing that I didn’t get in during the week. But it gets done. By my calculations, this latest draft of NIP will be complete by September. Do you know what happens then?? More revisions. Sigh.

But I can’t say that I’ve established a regular schedule with the thesis. I read my books on black masculinity and recovery, and also offer analysis of other pieces of fiction that I'll be comparing to novel #1. Still, no matter how much I do, I feel like I'm not making any progress.

I'm gonna keep plugging away at both projects, just cause that's what I do. And if it doesn't work, it just doesn't work. I'd be more than happy to throw everything away and just go back to one of my childhood dreams -- to become a rapper. You may laugh, but a wise man once told me that metaphors will keep me out of the projects. We'll see.

A Moment of Poetry

As much as I love Alice Walker, I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't learn about this poem until today, when someone quoted lines from it on Twitter. I thought it was beautiful, so I thought I'd share. Enjoy!


Never Offer Your Heart to Someone Who Eats Hearts

by Alice Walker

Never offer your heart
to someone who eats hearts
who finds heartmeat
delicious
but not rare
who sucks the juices
drop by drop
and bloody-chinned
grins
like a God.

Never offer your heart
to a heart gravy lover.
Your stewed, overseasoned
heart consumed
he will sop up your grief
with bread
and send it shuttling
from side to side
in his mouth
like bubblegum.

If you find yourself
in love
with a person
who eats hearts
these things
you must do.

Freeze your heart
immediately.
Let him—next time
he examines your chest—
find your heart cold
flinty and unappetizing.

Refrain from kissing
lest he in revenge
dampen the spark
in your soul.

Now,
sail away to Africa
where holy women
await you
on the shore—
long having practiced the art
of replacing hearts
with God and Song.

(Poem copied via http://people.tribe.net/artemisss/blog/39343320-b036-486c-abdf-293ff2f5a135 )

Scribbles

I have to go to a ton of meetings for work, and at times, I get a little bored. In times when it's tough for me to avoid falling asleep, I tend to write my signature over and over again in my notebook, then give a pensive look to the speaker. This time, I just decided to do some freewriting in my notebook and it led to a bit of craziness that I'll share here.

This is all from a county budget hearing I had to attend about a month ago:

-Time to google new hairstyles -- A 'fro? twists? cornrows? Find some Dominicans to straighten it when need be?
-Hungry, tired and generally in a bad mood. Evil is more like it
-I am parked in level 3 of gotts parking garage
-Feeling like I should've bought a book
-But of course, I'd get caught and that wouldn't be a good look..
-not for me, not for anyone
-(Muscular government official) isn't here. Sad that I can't stare at the muscles in his back
-Does (female government official) look like Rachael Ray or am I nutso?
-Strength/Courage/Wisdom is cold and tired
-I wonder what her office looks like -- either pristine, or really dirty. Probably pristine
-Oh JOY TO THE WORLD!! His Hotness has arrived.


Certifiably insane rant #1
Meetings
long and boring
nothing accomplished
endless talk
yet you blame me
for sleeping?
You'd be lucky to join in
Call the Sandman.
He's missed you.


Certifiably insane rant #2
Why must I endure this
Boredom?
You drone on and on
No one's riveted
Or even amused
Budget hearings
SUCK.
It had to be said.
I ain't the first
or the last
to want outta this damn place

Certifiably insane rant #3
End this meeting
I beg you.
Your words are dribble
My energy has fizzled
For the love of God
Shut up!
I shake my fist
At bureacracy
racism
anti semitism
and now you
Because you won't shut up.

Certifiably insane rant #4
I'm dying
And no one cares
I'm cold
And they turned on the air
I'm suffering
Yet the meeting continues.
All I can do
is stay awake
And hope no one
ABSOLUTELY no one
looks at my notebook.


And my mission was accomplished. I did NOT fall asleep. Hooray!

Discovering Greatness ... A Little Too Late

I didn't know the Undercover Black Man, but I wish I did. I was only vaguely familiar with his blog, but I've been going there reading the archives quite frequently after learning that UBM, an alter ego for TV writer David Mills, died from a brain aneurysm this past week.

His name didn't ring any bells with me as I read the various obituaries and tributes that ran in different newspapers. It's surprising that I wasn't familiar with him, since he did go to my alma mater, worked with David Simon, another distinguished alumnus, and was a writer for both Homicide: Life on the Streets and The Wire, which was one of my favorite programs. He was also set to work with Simon on Treme, an HBO show that seems to deal with life in post-Katrina New Orleans. He wrote his last blog post about the show, along with several others.

I'm ashamed to say that I've only been perusing the blog after learning about his death. But I do have some favorite posts, like the one where he lists recording artists who were convicted of murder; 'Run, N-gger Run', where he lists the lyrics of a catchy old time tune; and one where he calls out folks for pretending to be Indian. He also provided little known historical data, like giving a bio on the country's first non white vice president.

I've been late in discovering greatness before. I was an adult before I read 'Go Tell it On the Mountain' and 'Giovanni's Room', the latter helping me realize how much I loved James Baldwin. And just last year, my guitar teacher has got me playing songs by the Beatles and their tracks are in constant rotation (John Lennon was THE TRUTH). I'm now learning 'Don't Let Me Down', which faces stiff competition from 'My Life' for being my favorite Beatles song. (I've become so enamored with them that a friend has nicknamed me The Ladybug)

I had already known I was going to watch Treme when it premieres in a few weeks. But now I'll do so with the UBM, or David Mills, in mind. Rest in peace, Mr. Mills.

"These Hips Are Magic Hips ..."

I was saddened to hear about the death of poet Lucille Clifton recently. Poetry is very hit or miss for me. Generally, I enjoy it, alot, especially when the writer is the one doing the reading. But I don't go out of my way to read poetry collections (Langston Hughes, Nikki Giovanni and Georgia Douglas Johnson are the exception) or attend readings. This could be a side effect from a few years before when I thought I was dropping in on a brief spoken word event, which, instead, turned out to be THREE HOURS of someone screaming, then whispering their words. I'm still recovering.

Anyway, I was familiar with Lucille Clifton because she lived in my old neighborhood. However, I wasn't exposed to her poetry until maybe a year or so ago during a fiction class. My professor gave us a copy of her poem 'Here rests', which basically summed up her sister's life and personality in a few lines. The poem resonated with me because in some ways her sister reminded me of my Aunt BG, who is now in a nursing home raising all sorts of hell. (Let's just say that one nurse learned the hard way about telling my aunt to put out a cigarette.) Here's the poem:

here rests

by Lucille Clifton

my sister Josephine

born july in '29

and dead these 15 years

who carried a book

on every stroll.

when daddy was dying

she left the streets

and moved back home

to tend him.

her pimp came too

her Diamond Dick

and they would take turns

reading

a bible aloud through the house.

when you poem this

and you will she would say

remember the Book of Job.

happy birthday and hope

to you Josephine

one of the easts

most wanted.

may heaven be filled

with literate men

may they bed you

with respect.

With poetry, I'm a big believer in hearing it READ by the writer, versus reading it yourself. So here's some audio of her doing a 'Homage to my Hips', which is where the title for this blog post was taken. But don't stop there. Please check out 'Miss Rosie', 'Blessing the Boats' and 'Wishes for Sons'. And take a moment to see her in action. Rest in peace, Miss Lucille.

Yes, I'm Alive

It's been a busy few months. One that's been filled with working, writing, tweeting, facebooking, working, writing ... and all of the other stuff that does not include blogging. Sorry that I've been neglectful ya'll. In short, I've been doing great and 2010 is off to a great start. Here's a longer rundown of what I've been up to:

• Writing: I'm up to draft three in my new novel. The pieces are slowly coming together. I think I've found a title and I've finally committed to names of some of the major characters. Maybe it's just me, but naming folks is one of the hardest parts of writing for me. I guess that's just cause I feel like names and nicknames should have meaning. *shrug*
• Reading: I've become totally obsessed with the Clan of the Cave bear series. I finished book one quickly and nowI'm approaching the end of book 2, Valley of the Horses. There are six books in all, and thanks to my obsession, I own all six!! And I hear that the writer will be releasing another book sometime this year. Hooray!
  
• Tweeting: Yes, I've discovered Twitter. But I'm more of a Tweet watcher than a tweeter myself. The thing I like to do is follow celebrities on there, because I just often imagine what there lives are like. I'm following Erykah Badu, Aisha Tyler, Questlove from the Roots, Rainn Wilson, Chrisette Michele, etc. Erykah Badu has the most entertaining tweets by far, like -- "Whose baby is this, on my chest? Oh yeah, it's mine."
• Facebooking: Yes, it's that website that I both love and hate. I love catching up with old friends, but all the site is is a high school reunion 75485748 times a day. On my friends' list, there's been what I've dubbed a 'love war' in the status updates. One friend is going through a pretty nasty divorce, so each day there's an update about that. On the other spectrum, there's my madly in love friend. He recently got engaged, so each day I have to hear about his Beloved (yes, he calls her by a pet name that's similar to that) did this or that. She calls him Smooches (again, a name equally similar) and responds back in love haikus. It's interesting.
• Bobbing my head: I continue to keep my cd collection up to date, and I've been waiting patiently for the release of !!!SADE!!!! But I've been enjoying the latest releases from Mary J. Blige, Robin Thicke, Mariah Carey and Corinne Bailey Rae. My buddy Tbyrd hipped me to St Germain's Tourist cd, which has several smooth tunes.
  
• Shoveling: My region of the world was hit with a massive snowstorm recently. I'm talking 20 inches and up. Although I enjoy the snow when I'm tucked safely inside with no place to go, the fact is that eventually, I will have a place to go, and in order to get there, I need to shovel. Ugh. But it was a true bonding experience for myself and my three or four other neighbors who came out to get the job done ahead of time.
• Being neighborly: I had the pleasure of shoveling beside my favorite neighbor, I'll call her Dana, because I don't know her name. She has a little girl and she's the only other single woman living in my building. We've commiserated when Mr. Bad Element moved in, and made subsequent complaints to management. So I couldn't help but laugh when Dana was shoveling her car and Mr. Bad Element walked in the path she just shoveled. She gave him a firm cussing out and told him not to even THINK about walking anywhere near where she just shoveled. He grumbled, but he listened. Tee hee. He deserved that and so much more. But more about him later.
  

Anyway, that about sums up my life story at the moment. Be sure to tune in next time when I'll be sure to add more blogging into the mix.

(Photo from http://www.snowcrest.net/pine/shoveling.jpg )

The Isle of Me

I've had some vacation time to burn by the end of the year, so I'm getting in one week now. Where am I going? To the enchanting exotic Isle of Me. From the comfort of my couch, I'll be mentally taking in the sunshine, waves and fattening food that comes with being on a real vacation destination. Actually, I've already reached one of those goals, so a big fat RIP to my Thanksgiving leftovers. =)

So far, I've been semi productive on my vacation. I've reached the 50,000 word mark in draft 2 of novel #2 and I'm still plugging away. Today I woke up early, did a work out and ran a few errands. Now I'm about to take a nap before I head into Job #2. That's the unfortunate thing about these part time gigs, they don't come with paid vacation!

Rejection. It Feels Kinda Good This Time

I've been sending my short stories out like a mad woman, as I'm on that desperate hunt to get rich and famous. Or at least pay off my loans and live comfortably. Heck, I'll settle for something as simple as sushi and a massage.

Because I've been doing this, I've had my fair share of rejection letters. I used to have a shoebox with the words "HAKUNA MATATA" (it means 'no worries' -- Swahili) painted on the sides. I covered it with wrapping paper and taped all kinds of motivational phrases on it. Inside, that's where I kept all of my rejection letters. The idea was to keep the rejections locked up safely in there. Then, once I got a letter accepting my work, I'd look at these rejections and laugh. Ok, that's the nice version. I'd probably set the rejection letters on fire.

I've moved quite a bit since I had that box, but I still stock up my rejections. (I do save my winning letters too.) Recently, I submitted a short story to a website that posts fiction that meets their guidelines. I posted to them before and was rejected, so this time I sent something different. I was turned down again, but I'm not mad. Actually, I'm smiling a little bit. Here's the rejection letter:

From:	submissions@XYZFICTION.com
Sent:	Sat 3/07/09 5:49 PM
To:	Strength C.

Dear Strength:

Thanks for submitting "Up the New Jersey Turnpike" to XYZFICTION*.
While this story doesn't suit our needs at this time, I hope that you'll
keep visiting the site and keep sending stories our way. As we update
weekly, we're always looking for new fiction.

Thanks again,
Jason Reynolds

PS- While we don't have time to respond to every submission in detail, I
wanted you to know that "Up the New Jersey Turnpike" made it through
several rounds of reading and impressed a number of our editors along
the way. As such, it'd be great to see your name in the inbox again.

Best,
Jason

So yeah, that postscript made a sista feel geeked. And don't you worry, Jason. I'll be blowing up your inbox, best believe.



*Note: Name has been changed

Goals

So, it's early February and I'm already tackling my monthly to-do list like a fiend. See, my February list mainly contains holdover tasks that I planned to complete in January, December, and maybe even November and October. That's sad, I know. But I plan to do better this time.

The two tasks I'm most anxious to complete is sending out at least three resumes and at least three short stories to various publications. So far, I've sent out one resume for a position that may be worth my while, and two short stories. I've mentioned before how job security is a new worry of mine, so I shouldn't have to explain why I'm trying to get the heck out of there. I'm also toying with the idea of getting a part time job to help with expenses. *Sigh*

On the short story front, I'm going through my box that holds my rejection letters and sending them some new material. The more stories I have circulating, the better my changes are of publication, right? My mom said this will make me a little like Prince. You know how he has 9679454958 unreleased songs, and he releases some at his concerts? Yeah, that'll be me by the time my book gets published. One complete novel and 95475948 short stories. Hah! We'll see how that goes.

(Photo from http://www.idratherbewriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/goals.png)

It's Over

It was good while it lasted, but the lovely and exciting 2008 is over. I've had some good times, I've had some bad times and I've had some downright mediocre times. But either way, I'm glad ya'll were with me as I've documented my ride on this thing called life.


Like I've done in past year-end posts, I'm going to lists a few things that have made me happy this year. In no particular order, here they are:


MOVIES: "Slumdog Millionaire" is the best movie I saw all year. Actually, I can't remember the last time I've been on such an emotional roller coaster in a movie theater. I laughed, I cried and sometimes I just said "awwww". EXCELLENT flick. I'm sure there are other movies that I really enjoyed, but I can't think of 'em right now.

TV SHOWS: There are so many I can mention here that it ain't even funny. Ya'll know I'm obsessed. In the past, I've neglected to mention how great the show 'Dexter' is. In short, it's about a serial killer who only murders people who deserve it. I've also become a fan of .... *cough, cough* ... 'Gossip Girl. I like how they use this unnamed narrator to tell the life stories of these rich kids. I also like that they play around a bit with the Madonna/Whore stereotype. There's Blair Waldorf, who can be so evil and conniving that she reduces her freshman followers to tears. She's also a virgin. There's her former best friend Serena, who sunny, bubbly and innocent. But Serena's past shows that she had quite the reputation. The series starts off with the two hating each other and pitting other students against each other. This is only a BRIEF summary of season one. I haven't started watching season 2 yet, so nobody ruin it for me! Last but not least, I need to mention 'True Blood', which is all about a telepath female (Sookie Stackhouse) and her relationship with a vampire. The show is based on a series of books revolving around Sookie. (Yes, I'm also reading the books. Yes, I love the books as well!) I've also discovered 'Mad Men' (Don Draper is hawt) and 'Weeds', to add more dysfunction to my life. I'm also watching some old tv shows on DVD -- shows like "Gilmore Girls" and "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer." (Yes, I see a vampire theme here)

BOOKS: Between going to school and reading for pleasure, I've consumed ALOT of books this past year. Aside from the Sookie books (I'm only on book 2), there are a few standouts like The Brief & Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Sula, Not Without Laughter, Acacia, and Perks of Being A Wallflower, to name a few. This was also the year I gave in to suggestions from my coworkers and started reading graphic novels, but I'll expand on that in later posts. The series I enjoyed most was Y: The Last Man (soon to be a movie starring Shia LaBeouf) and Ex Machina, which isn't finished publishing yet. The best stand alone comic book/graphic novel (I'm still struggling with the terminology) I read this year was 'Blankets'. Yes, I'm a geek. No, I don't care.


MUSIC: Hate it if you want to, but I love Kanye West's '808s & Heartbreak.' Yes, he's pseudo singing and that's what some folks consider blasphemy for a rapper, but whatever, I enjoy it. It's clear through the songs that he is tore up and depressed over a lost relationship. I mean, the chorus of his song with Lil Wayne ('See You in my Nightmares') is literally "I'm telling everyone I know/that I don't love you no more." Dang. But as I've said before, pain makes the best music. Kanye, I remain a fan.


HOBBIES: I'm still taking guitar lessons and they're going pretty well. I'm a much better swimmer than I was before, thanks to those swim classes I took before. However, I'm thinking about taking some more swim lessons sometime soon. Practice makes perfect, right? But I also want to learn belly dancing and I've seen a few classes that are right up my alley. Hmmm. We'll see.


RANDOM MENTIONS: In a few days, I'll be finished draft 6 of my novel. That means it'll be time to start doing an agent hunt and finding out how people really feel about my writing. It'll be an eye-opening experience, but I'm up for the challenge. I got an A in my literature class this semester. I'm finally done my academic coursework, but I still need to write my thesis (still revising it for approval) and take a test before they hand me my degree. I can't wait!! And in case you haven't heard, BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!!!! I'm giddy all over again! *CHEESE*

Well, that's all I can think of for the time being folks. I hope everyone has a safe, healthy and prosperous 2009!


Photo from http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/gbeast/new-year.jpg

Beginnings, Endings

I'm trying to figure out which part is more difficult, the beginning, or the end.

I'm slowly approaching the completion in writing the novel I've been writing for quite sometime. In fact, once I finish going over these last 20 pages, I'll have completed draft #5 of this project. Whew! That even feels like an accomplishment.

But it is also scary. I think I've done a good job overall, but I can't help but think about some areas that I may want to review, tweak and refine, meaning going into draft #6. I fear that I'll feel the same way after that draft is finished, taking me on into drafts 7, 8, 9, 10, etc. etc. etc.


The main thing that makes this project so hard to complete is that it's also part of my thesis. So, it's one thing to take all of my creative, left brained energy and tuck it into a neat 90,000 word package. It's quite another thing to think over those 90,000 words and draw on research that applies to some of the themes I'm trying to get across in said book. Aye!!! I'm banging my head against the wall!

When I finish this draft, I think I'll do the same thing I did when I finished draft #4, except I'll do it quicker. I'll write myself a letter about my likes/dislikes (very few dislikes, i may add!) and areas I need to make clearer. Then I'll go through the pages for one final, quick edit. After that, it's time to start printing and going on the hunt for an agent.

And that's the really scary part. But even more frightening is the prospect of taking a blank page and turning it into another 90,000-word novel. Whew! It's hard work, but I gotta do it.


Photo from http://kellsmurthwaite.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/writing-reviews.jpg