Hey, Mr (Computer) Man, there's something wrong with my line ....

(week 1)

Dear Dan The Computer Man:

I appreciate all the rearranging you've done to my work area and giving me a new computer monitor. With all the cutbacks at the company, I'm glad you were able to fit my technical needs into your additional tasks of custodian/payroll supervisor/carpenter. When I saw you leveling that desk the other day, you were less than pleased when I told you about my blank computer screen. Nevertheless, I'm glad you got to it.

That being said, you should know that I keep a variety of items at my desk as a source of inspiration. That Method Man picture you saw, taped to the bottom of my screen? Yeah, I'mmma need that back. There is nothing like a gorgeous, thuggish man staring at me with those possessed eyes, silently encouraging me to represent Wu. Yes, I know he wouldn't want me in all my natural glory, but let me have my fantasy. I'll patiently await my picture to be returned.

Best,

Strength

(week 2)

Dear Dan The Computer Man:

First off, I want to apologize for interrupting you while you were plunging that toilet. Apparently, the unisex bathroom isn't enough for us anymore. And poor you, having to fill in for Craig n dem who rolled out on the company earlier this month. I mean, he could've at least left a uniform behind for you to wear. You look so out of place in your suit and tie, fiercely wielding a plunger.

So it breaks my heart to have to share another computer problem with you. I'm not able to retrieve pertinent documents from my hard drive. Now, I can understand the confusion. When you saw a document saved as 'FUCK YA'LL', you probably thought it was nonsense. Actually, that 12-page document is my letter of resignation. Whenever the Powers That Be give me unneeded stress, I whip out this treaty and add to it. When I leave this company, I want them to know each and every reason for my departure. At least count, I reached reason #274. Please locate my document so I can add reasons #275-#312. Yes, it's been that kind of week. I'll wait for you to work your magic.

Peace and blessings,

Strength

(week 3)

Hey Dan:

Fine, I'll stop calling you at home. But what else am I supposed to do when you don't return my emails or work IMs? I know I scared you when I was sitting at your desk yesterday morning, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you hadn't called security on me, I would've explained this.

Anyway, my latest computer problem is with my music. In the nearly six years I've been here, I've taken the time to load inspirational music onto my computer. But ever since you did your extreme makeover, I can't find any of my old tunes. I'm a woman who needs to be fed with copious amounts of Eminem/Jay-Z/Me'shell N'degeoHoweverYouSpellIt/Amel Larrieux. And I'm talking DAILY. If I seemed especially aggressive, that was because I didn't get my dose of 'Dead Nigga Boulevard' or 'Way I Am' or 'Kill You.' These are my lullabyes. Once the security guards let me go, I hope to return to a musical computer.

Thanks,

Strength

(week 4)

Hi Dan:

Fine, leave if you want to. You should know that the rumor mill is blazing with tales of your departure. Did you really just erupt when you learned that my latest computer monitor had failed me, and you'd have to get me another one? Did you really storm out of the building shrieking 'FUCK YA'LL!!'? If so, that's copyright infringement, and I hope my check is in the mail.

You'll be happy to know that your replacement is handling my needs. Leo is not disturbed by my bobbleheads, or my Avenging Unicorns. He also has the same musical interests as me. Just the other night at karaoke, we entertained the audience with our duet of 'Renegade.' He did Jay-Z's verses, and I did Eminem's. It was a great time. But I do believe I scared the audience when I jumped up on the table and shrieked 'What did I do (huh)/I'm just a kid from the gutter/makin this butter off these bloodsuckers/cuz I'm a muh'fuckin RENEGADE.' I can't begin to emphasize the sexiness of a man who is strong enough to carry his drunken/deranged colleague off the table, yet gentle enough to hand her another beer and tell her to get back on that stage. I do believe I'm in love.

Anyway, it was great working with you Dan. I heard that a going away party is being planned. Expect Leo and I to be there, carrying microphones and a karaoke machine.

Best wishes,

MC Strength

(Photo from www.digitaljournal.com/img/5/6/48/9/8/i/4/6/2/o/love.jpg

Chaka Khan & Cleaning Out My Closet

I mentioned before that when times geet tough, I get in my bed. Well, the Sleep Olympics have launched in my bedroom again and I’m well in the midst of getting a gold medal. Lately, when my mind is heavy, and I’m stressed out about something I can’t control, I just hop into bed and hope that things will be better in the morning. It had worked in the past. I was able to get up early, get some writing done and get to work early, or right on time, which is quite a feat for me.

But things aren’t that way anymore. Yeah, I’ve been stressed, yeah I’ve had some stuff on my mind, and yeah I’ve been escaping it with my bed. All this sleep I’m getting, is just making me want to sleep more, not less, and there is no refreshment in sight. It is always my goal twice a week to wake up just before 5 a.m., work on my novel for about an hour or so, then start getting ready for work. (I spend the rest of the week at my 6 am spin class) Last night, I went to bed at 10 and still struggled to wake up at 7:30. Mind you, I’m supposed to be at work at 8. Sigh.

So I’ve been finding other ways to channel my energy, or lack thereof. Cleaning is a good counterpart to sleep. For the first time in my life, I have a vacuum cleaner that is actually worth something. It gives me so much joy that I have given it a name – Chaka Khan. Whenever I’m stressed, or my mind goes into the dark place, I just chant “Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!” and I start vacuuming my woes away. It’s not just vacuuming that’s been keeping me sane. I recently dusted and rearranged my bookshelves. (If you knew how many books I had, you’d understand that this was quite a feat) I’ve also made a list of other cleaning projects to take on. Look out bedroom closet! I’m coming your way, bathroom cabinet! Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, computer desk!

With all of these tasks, my place should be SPOTLESS by the end of the year. That should keep me out of the bed for awhile. That’s what I hope anyway. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know. And hey, I might even be willing to load up Chaka Khan and clean your house.

Photo from http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:gtwsEnShXlaFOM:http://funkyou.squarespace.com/storage/CHAKA%20KHAN%20same%20LP.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1245726123364&t=1

My Turquoise Chain

I'm the type of person who gets obsessed with the obscure**. Years ago, I read a novel that had a slight reference to Little Jimmie Scott, so I went on a googling frenzy. And I mentioned here before that I read another novel that led me to do the same with singer Phoebe Snow.

Well, my new obsession is Betty Davis. I didn't get her from reading, I actually got her from peaking around in the infamous Bianca Laureano's Amazon wishlist. I saw a cd from the 1970s featuring a beautiful sista with the largest fro I had ever seen. Then I started to listen, and I was blown away by this woman who sang -- sometimes growled -- about infidelity, sex, men, sex, love, sex ... and, well, sex.

I quickly added some of her songs to my iPod. I play her as I'm driving to work, and I've gotten many a strange stare when I belt out "He Was A Big Freak":



But 'Git In There' always makes me want to jump out of my seat and dance:


And there is also the love ballad, "The Anti Love Song"


But I do believe the first song I heard by her was the mansharing song, "Your Man, My Man."


The woman formerly known as Betty Mabry was also Miles Davis second wife, and he wrote a song about her, like to hear it? Here it go:


I've tried to get others, like my mother, to discover the joy of Betty Davis. But not everyone is ready. You should've seen the look on my mom's face when I played "He Was A Big Freak." She thinks I've truly lost my mind. Ah well, I'm just enjoying the 70s these days. Alot of good things came out of that decade, namely me. =)

**these artists aren't necessarily obscure, but they were obscure to me**

The Word Warrior (Down with IKTRay)

Please excuse the absence. I’ve been too lazy to blog. Then I got to happy to blog. Then I got too sad to blog. Then I got overwhelmed with all the things that I needed to blog that I just let it fall by the wayside. But the other day, I looked in the mirror and I said, “Hey Good Lookin – It’s time to get the blog cookin’!” Corny, I know, but it got me out of the doldrums.

Today, I wanted to talk about my battle with words. There are certain phrases that people say that really make me want to cut my own skin off. I was going to call this post Bad Black Cliches, but it’s not just the BBCs that bug me (“You Go Girl” – please, let it die). There are a variety of phrases that work my nerves for reasons that I will mention here. The #1 annoying phrase is the aforementioned ‘IKTRay’ … that’s right, it’s so frustrating that I can not even bear the thought of spelling it out. But keep reading I’ll mention it soon enough.

Here’s my top five list of Phrases that Must Die, in order of least annoying to most.

5. “I’m going to the movies, do you want to come with?” Now, this one makes me cringe and smile (sminge, if you will?). My freshman year roomie introduced me to this phrase, which left my little grammarian heart searching for the direct object. We then had this discussion about how the sentence wasn’t finished and she laughed it off and said people in her town always used this phrase. We became good friends, but I still gave her the side eye whenever she used this sentence. So now, this phrase still makes me cringe, but it’ll also make me smile as I think of my old friend.

4. “I felt some kind of way.” Seriously? What way do you feel? This is a sentence that says absolutely nothing. During a phone conversation, a friend was trying to describe an argument with her boyfriend. It went something like this: “I guess he felt some kind of way, so he said this. And then I was feeling some kind of way, so I said that.” Really? That tells me nothing. God created adjectives and adverbs for a reason. Use ‘em.

3. “Look at you!” This goes back to a day when I was at my part time job, describing my full time job to my manager. She was impressed, and her way of expressing this was with a little head nob and a squeaky, “Well, look at you!” Really? I could understand if I was in kindergarten and got through lunch with crayons up my nose. That deserves an L.A.Y. But I’m an adult. Why are you looking at me? Step off.

2. “That’s what’s up.” There was an E. Lynn Harris book I read where this woman was dating a young guy who always used that phrase. It didn’t bother me until I talked to someone in real life who said it, and then my ears started to BLEED. I mean, that’s no kind of response. Me: “I got my Christmas shopping done.” Him: “That’s what’s up.” Me: “I got a new job.” Him: “That’s what’s up.” That’s just wrong, on so many levels.

And now, for the top phrase that makes me want to hurt somebody:

1. IKTRay – “I know that’s right.” If you’ve ever said this to me, you should know now that I’ve put extreme thought into your assassination. It will be big, it will be bloody, and best believe, you will not survive unless you can justify that sentence to me. You can’t, can you? The person who says this is an obvious show off. They can’t be satisified with simply saying “I know” or “That’s right.” Oh no, they have to throw the two together, in some kind of horrible word kama sutra. I despise this term so much, that I refer to it in my own form of pig Latin. Yes IKTRayers, this is what you’ve driven me to do.

Fervor (!!!!MAXWELL!!!!)

Michael Jackson's death came as a shock to me. This was a man whose music I loved and I'd been a fan of his throughout my entire life. But when he die, as upset as I was, I didn't go into an emotional frenzy like some other people did. I mean, some dedicated fans went to the ends of the earth to go to his funeral. Men, women and children took to moonwalking in the streets as they dissolved into tears. My mom had to call my aunt -- a diehard fan -- to make sure she was okay. My stepfather purposely avoided any contact with his sister, who is a tad bit on the emotional side and has always loved herself some MJ.

All of this fervor about the man got me to thinking about what celebrity (or celebrities) could turn me into a knee-wobbling shell of a human being. A coworker mentioned Bruce Springsteen, but she said she didn't think she'd reach the level of the MJ mourners. She'd probably mark his death with a few beers and a gathering of other like-minded fans. The death of another MJ -- Michael Jordan -- would probably be hard for me to take. For years, I've had an illicit, passionate ... okay, imaginary ... affair with this man. We've broken up, but I still have mad love for the man. My close friends know it and call to check in on my mental state whenever he does something of note, i.e. gets divorced, leaves the Bulls, is seen with another woman that is NOT me, etc.

But I don't want to talk about the MJs in my life, I want to talk about another person on my Fervor List. I want to talk about Maxwell.

Yes, I've mentioned before that I'm quite devoted to Mighty Max. I'm so devoted, that I had July 7 in the back of my mind for weeks. That is the day that my dear Max was putting out his first cd in eight years. An ordinary person would wait until July 7 to buy the cd or download it from iTunes. But I'm no ordinary person, I'm a fan. I have fervor! So on July 6, I waited until after midnight to log onto iTunes and purchase BLACK Summer's Night.

But because my life tends to act a bit like Murphy's Law, there were a few glitches. My computer froze and I blame that on the fact that I've been trying to download season one of Burn Notice. I stopped the download and fiddled with the machine again before going to bed. The idea was that I'd wake up the next morning with the new music in my iPod and it could accompany me on my drive to work.

Well, when I woke up the next day, the download still hadn't finished. GRRRR. So I had to go to work without it. And because it was a day of working at both jobs, I didn't get home until 10 o'clock to finish my download. That being said, I know have Maxwell's latest release and I haven't stopped playing it.

Overall, I have my favorites on the cd ('Bad Habit' & 'Pretty Wings' -- CONSTANT ROTATION), but I'm not completely blown away. I also wish there were more than nine songs available.

But in the end, it doesn't matter, because I am a fan. And Maxwell gives me Fervor.


Photo from http://www.aolcdn.com/ch_bv/bmmmaxwell400.jpg

Bookworm

I mentioned in a previous post that I read alot. What I haven't mentioned is that I've become completely incapable of reading one book at a time.

Because of my habit, I'm a frequent patron of the library. I've been reading the Southern Vampire Books (HBO used them to create "True Blood"), but I usually have to add my name to a waitlist to get them because they are so popular. And because so many people want them, I can never renew my checkout time for these books, so I'm seriously under the gun. Recently, Club Dead, which is book 3 in the series, became available. So I had to pick that up and add it to the rapidly growing list of books I've been reading.

So far, here's what's on my reading list these days:
"Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte
"Reading Like a Writer" by Francine Prose
"Spike Lee: That's my Story and I'm Sticking to It" by Kaleem Aftab
"Unaccustomed Earth" by Jhumpa Lahiri (short story book, recently completed. loved it!)
"Club Dead" by Charlaine Harris

Yes, that is quite a bit. I'm hoping to clear out of this pile soon, so I can move onto required reading for school, i.e portions of Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" and Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice." (I give both books an early YUCK. Jane Austen and I don't get along. The movies are fine, but I've yet to get through one of her books) I also have to read "Wuthering Heights", but I think that'll be easier since I saw and loved the movie version with Sir Laurence Olivier. I'm also eager to move onto my copy of "A Mercy", since I'm a Toni Morrison fanatic. *Sigh* I hope my eyeballs don't pop out of my sockets!


(Photo from http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/images/big_bookworm.gif)

Discoveries

I read alot alot alot ALOT. (More on that in a future post) And one of my favorite books is "Lion's Blood: A Novel of Slavery and Freedom in an Alternate America", by Steven Barnes. It is not an easy book and even though I've highly recommended it to a few friends, they had to give it back to me unfinished because it was too heavy.

Basically, the story revolves around the idea of Egypt defeating the Roman empire, therefore causing Africans to have European slaves in what is known as the New World (aka United States). The story revolves around Kai, whose family owns a plantation known as Dar Kush, and Aidan, a slave who lives there. Despite the circumstances, the two become friends. The story includes some historical figures like Shaka Zulu. Anyone who has seen the Shaku Zulu movie (the first one with Henry Cele, not the Grace Jones version) hundreds of times like I have will get a kick out of his antics in this book. There is also a sequel, "Zulu Heart", which is equally good.

I mention this book because it introduced me to the 14th century poet, Hafiz. I don't mark up my books much, so when I do, it's got to be a special line. There's a scene in the book where Kai is chatting with his brother's fiancee', also the woman Kai loves. They begin reciting Hafiz, eventually leading to a poem I now know is called "No Other Kind Of Light:" Find that flame, that existence/That wonderful man/Who can burn beneath the water./No other kind of light/Willl cook the food you need. Beautiful! So yes, I underlined page 425 in pen, a clear no-no by my rules.

I did some research and became a fan of some of his other poems that are posted online. He has a timeless poem that I'm sure alot of people can relate to. It is called "Find A Better Job:"

Now

That

All your worry

Has proved such an

Unlucrative

Business,

Why

Not

Find a better

Job.

There are two other Hafiz poems in "Lion's Blood", but for the life of me, I can't figure out the titles. Here are the lines: We are exquisite coral reefs,/Dying when exposed to strange/Elements/Allah is the wine we crave -- we miss/Flowing in and out of our pores. The other poem goes like this: Why all this talk of the beloved/Music and dancing, and/Liquid ruby light we can lift in a cup?/Because it is low tide,/A very low tide in this age/And around most hearts. If anyone knows these titles, or knows how I may find more of Hafiz' poetry, please let me know. In the meantime, I do plan to check out "The Subject Tonight is Love: Sixty Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz."

Dead Man Walking

I'll admit it, there are a few dead men that I have mad love for. Actually, I can only think of two or three at the moment, but I'm sure there are more. Let me clarify. I'm not talking about any freaky vampire/corpse stuff. I'm talking about men who are dead now, but have my love just the same. Does that make sense?

Let me start by talking about Bruce Lee. I was always a fan of martial arts movies, particularly the low budget ones that would air at noon every Saturday in my neighborhood. The plots either went one of two ways. First there was the "Don't Mess With My Woman" plot. That story revolved around the movie's Hero who had a relationship, or a crush on, a beautiful woman in town. But the enemy would either rape/attempt to rape or kill said woman, angering the Hero. The Hero would take revenge and by the end of the movie, all the enemies would be gone and the Hero and the woman would ride off into the sunset together.

Second, there was the "Don't Mess with My Friend/Teacher" plot. That story revolved around the Hero who has a good friend or teacher that is just as skilled in the martial arts as he is. Then, along comes the enemy, who uses dirty tricks to kill/maim/severely injure said teacher or friend. The Hero takes revenge, killing all of the enemies in sight and then the credits roll. (Jean-Claude Van Damme is famous for these plots, i.e. "Kickboxer" and "Bloodsport", which are virtually the same movie)

The movies were cheaply made and they had that famous out of sync voiceover for us American audiences. But I still loved it. Eventually, I discovered Bruce Lee and I was never the same. I can't remember the first Bruce picture I saw -- maybe it was "Enter the Dragon" or "Fists of Fury." Either way, I just couldn't take my eyes off of this beautiful bundle of energy that was killing everyone in sight. I made it my mission to see every single one of his movies and I even caught a few flicks with Bruce Lee imitators. I was heartbroken when I learned about the circumstances surrounding his death and I made it my mission to learn as much about him as I could. If I ever decide to visit Seattle, seeing Bruce's grave is at the top of my list. Morbid, I know.

The other day, I was at Walgreen's and I saw a Men's Fitness magazine with Bruce on the cover. (I think it's the April edition) Naturally, I stopped in my tracks. They had several pictures of Bruce -- old and young -- that I'd never seen before. Yummy! I think the article was talking about Bruce's workout routine and what he did each day to sculp that physique. Dude was serious. Oh Bruce, if only we had lived in the same time period ....

Speaking of, anyone ever seen "Somewhere in Time" with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour? Well, I'm about to tell you all about it, SPOILERS and all. The movie is filmed in the 1970s and it starts out with Christopher, a playwright, celebrating his most recent play. This old old OLD woman he never met before approaches him and says, "Come back to me." He doesn't know what she's talking about and she gives him one of those turn of the century pocket watches. The lady leaves and he does some research to learn that she was this famous actress from the 1920s and 1930s. He sees her picture (it's Jane Seymour) and just can't stop staring at it, he immediately falls in love. So he finds this scientist and finds a way to go back in time and meet her. He's transported to her time when both are young and limber and the sparks fly! Of course, something happens and his transported back to his time. He's so heartbroken that he stops eating and drinking an dies. Then the movie shows them being reunited in heaven.

Sorry, I'm rambling now. No, my love for Bruce is not that deep. But it was the only movie I could think of to justify having a crush on a dead man.


(photo from http://images.art.com/images/-/Bruce-Lee--C10104019.jpeg)

It's Over

It was good while it lasted, but the lovely and exciting 2008 is over. I've had some good times, I've had some bad times and I've had some downright mediocre times. But either way, I'm glad ya'll were with me as I've documented my ride on this thing called life.


Like I've done in past year-end posts, I'm going to lists a few things that have made me happy this year. In no particular order, here they are:


MOVIES: "Slumdog Millionaire" is the best movie I saw all year. Actually, I can't remember the last time I've been on such an emotional roller coaster in a movie theater. I laughed, I cried and sometimes I just said "awwww". EXCELLENT flick. I'm sure there are other movies that I really enjoyed, but I can't think of 'em right now.

TV SHOWS: There are so many I can mention here that it ain't even funny. Ya'll know I'm obsessed. In the past, I've neglected to mention how great the show 'Dexter' is. In short, it's about a serial killer who only murders people who deserve it. I've also become a fan of .... *cough, cough* ... 'Gossip Girl. I like how they use this unnamed narrator to tell the life stories of these rich kids. I also like that they play around a bit with the Madonna/Whore stereotype. There's Blair Waldorf, who can be so evil and conniving that she reduces her freshman followers to tears. She's also a virgin. There's her former best friend Serena, who sunny, bubbly and innocent. But Serena's past shows that she had quite the reputation. The series starts off with the two hating each other and pitting other students against each other. This is only a BRIEF summary of season one. I haven't started watching season 2 yet, so nobody ruin it for me! Last but not least, I need to mention 'True Blood', which is all about a telepath female (Sookie Stackhouse) and her relationship with a vampire. The show is based on a series of books revolving around Sookie. (Yes, I'm also reading the books. Yes, I love the books as well!) I've also discovered 'Mad Men' (Don Draper is hawt) and 'Weeds', to add more dysfunction to my life. I'm also watching some old tv shows on DVD -- shows like "Gilmore Girls" and "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer." (Yes, I see a vampire theme here)

BOOKS: Between going to school and reading for pleasure, I've consumed ALOT of books this past year. Aside from the Sookie books (I'm only on book 2), there are a few standouts like The Brief & Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Sula, Not Without Laughter, Acacia, and Perks of Being A Wallflower, to name a few. This was also the year I gave in to suggestions from my coworkers and started reading graphic novels, but I'll expand on that in later posts. The series I enjoyed most was Y: The Last Man (soon to be a movie starring Shia LaBeouf) and Ex Machina, which isn't finished publishing yet. The best stand alone comic book/graphic novel (I'm still struggling with the terminology) I read this year was 'Blankets'. Yes, I'm a geek. No, I don't care.


MUSIC: Hate it if you want to, but I love Kanye West's '808s & Heartbreak.' Yes, he's pseudo singing and that's what some folks consider blasphemy for a rapper, but whatever, I enjoy it. It's clear through the songs that he is tore up and depressed over a lost relationship. I mean, the chorus of his song with Lil Wayne ('See You in my Nightmares') is literally "I'm telling everyone I know/that I don't love you no more." Dang. But as I've said before, pain makes the best music. Kanye, I remain a fan.


HOBBIES: I'm still taking guitar lessons and they're going pretty well. I'm a much better swimmer than I was before, thanks to those swim classes I took before. However, I'm thinking about taking some more swim lessons sometime soon. Practice makes perfect, right? But I also want to learn belly dancing and I've seen a few classes that are right up my alley. Hmmm. We'll see.


RANDOM MENTIONS: In a few days, I'll be finished draft 6 of my novel. That means it'll be time to start doing an agent hunt and finding out how people really feel about my writing. It'll be an eye-opening experience, but I'm up for the challenge. I got an A in my literature class this semester. I'm finally done my academic coursework, but I still need to write my thesis (still revising it for approval) and take a test before they hand me my degree. I can't wait!! And in case you haven't heard, BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!!!! I'm giddy all over again! *CHEESE*

Well, that's all I can think of for the time being folks. I hope everyone has a safe, healthy and prosperous 2009!


Photo from http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/gbeast/new-year.jpg

And while we're on that subject ....

I think I'll link to the video of Maxwell's performance on BET. I am distressed that my man cut his hair, but whatever, I still love him. Check out the video here and see if you notice the other thing that pissed me off.





Did you figure it out? Well, I'll just divulge. !!!!!IS THAT A WEDDING BAND I SEE ON YOUR FINGER, MAX???!!!! What about us, huh? I thought we had something? And who is this heffa who seems to think she has the right to be your wife? I'm not above eliminating her from the equation. Hmph!!!

The Return of Mighty Max

A few weeks ago, a friend came to me with the best proposition I could imagine. Would I like to go to the upcoming Maxwell concert? The answer was YES YES 1,000 times YES!! Ya'll know I love him, right? A few other friends had asked me to go to the concert in various cities. But by the time I was able to give a response, tickets were sold out. * Groan *

I was surprised at the invitation, given the fact that this is a friend (I’ve mentioned her before) who has caused me a great deal of stress in the past. In fact, she even caused me to form my own guerrilla squad. But whatever, let’s let bygones be bygones. This is Maxwell we’re talking about!

But Denise gives me the catch: She wants to buy the $150 tickets. Now, I love Maxwell, but I love groceries more. In fact, I love not being homeless more than I love Mighty Max. Clearly, friend and I have different economic goals. It would be different if these $150 tix came with a chance to see Maxwell backstage, an opportunity to touch his hand or even a small sliver of time where I could fit myself in the trunk of his limo. No, none of that.

I mentioned to Denise that this was a little on the pricey side and could she please consider the cheaper seats. After all, she is the divorced one with the two kids. Wouldn’t the money be better served elsewhere? She wouldn’t listen to reason. So I was forced to decline her invitation and she took one of her raggedy friends. (Yes, I was quite bitter)

I strolled into work the day after the concert, only to get a frantic call from Denise. Apparently, Mighty Max gave a lukewarm performance, certainly not $150 worth. I heard a similar report from another friend. I’m sad my man isn’t meeting folks’ expectations. Perhaps he’s saving all of his energy for a show that I can attend.

(Photo from http://z.about.com/d/randb/1/0/Y/5/-/-/Maxwell.jpg)

The Last Temptation of Strength/Courage/Wisdom

The next person who suggests a TV show to me is going to get a swift kick in the stomach. I mean it. TV is stressing me out and it has got to stop.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I can be a bit on the obsessive side. When I like something, I REALLY REALLY like it and I want others to feel the same way. I also have this insane habit of wanting to be able to contribute to any conversation I stumble across. That combination does not bode well for the plans I made to watch less television.

For awhile, I was doing well. I had my must see viewing list and nothing else. If it wasn't "Lost", "24", "How I Met Your Mother", "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," "Ugly Betty" or "Grey's Anatomy", it wasn't getting watched. Yeah, I stumbled a bit with "Dancing With the Stars" and "America's Next Top Model," but for the most part I stuck with the plan.

Things changed when a few of my coworkers started talking about their new favorite show, "Heroes." They said it was much better than "Lost," a show I love to hate, so I said I'd check it out. Sure enough, this show rubbed me in the right way and got added to the list.

A few of my must see shows got dropped -- 24 killed off my favorite characters, I kept forgetting about How I Met Your Mother and SVU. I was fine with that, until my friend, Dee, appealed to my inner teenage white girl and tossed "One Tree Hill" my way. I watched most of the old seasons on dvd and reluctantly added that to the list.

But now that the new fall viewing season has started, I'm torn. I stopped watching "Girlfriends" long before they got rid of Toni's character. Now they have the nerve to add one of my many crushes, Richard T. Jones, to the cast. Don't the writers know that he was one of my favorite parts of "The Wood"? Don't they know I watched "Judging Amy" every week just to see him?

Adding 'Girlfriends' to the list makes things even more complicated because 'The Game' comes on right after that and I know I'll end up watching that as well. An even bigger problem is the fact that 'Heroes' comes on at the same time as both of these shows. But the CW Network does reair the episodes that Sunday, making it way too convenient for me to watch everything.

Recently, my friend, JJ, told me about his undying love for "Brothers & Sisters." I thought the show looked cheesy, but I got the first season's DVDs just to check it out. And I was right, it is cheesy, uses every cliche imaginable, but ... dare I say it? ... I can't stop watching. Sally Field is such a great actress and seeing Calista Flockhart again takes me back to my Ally McBeal days. I haven't finished watching the first season yet, but when I do, I'll probably .... you know ... add it to the list. (Of course, this list doesn't even mention the cable shows that I watch on DVD -- "Battlestar Galactica," "Nip/Tuck," etc)

After "Brothers & Sisters", I'm putting my foot down. The list is under lock and key and I'm not putting another show on there. So what if 24 is resurrecting one of my favorite characters from the dead (Tony Almeidia played by Carlos Bernard) ... I'm not going back! So what if ER is adding my other favorite 24 character (Reiko Aylesworth) to the cast this fall ... I'm not watching!!! And no matter how loudly my inner teenage white girl may sing "Glamorous Life", I will not watch Gossip Girl!! Hmph.


(Photo courtesy of http://www.stormerbrooks.com/karen/comp.too_much_TV.gif

Finished ... Finally

I hadn't planned to write another Harry Potter post, but I feel the need to let everyone know how grateful I am now that I have finished that massive book. I'm generally a fast reader, except when it comes to the HP series. During those times, I read at a snail's pace while my friends can digest it in one sitting. There was always this increasing pressure for me to finish the books within a reasonable time frame, just to keep up with my rep as a speedreader.

The pressure was even worse for this last book, since it is (allegedly) the final one in the series. It was nearly impossible to read without stumbling onto spoilers, like here, here and here , not to mention the Wikipedia summary of the book and those blasted interviews JK Rowling had been doing on the Today show. Top that off with all the people who wanted to bug me constantly and say, 'are u fininshed yet? what's taking so long? u of all people should be done by now!'

The last straw came when a coworker of mine, who was trailing behind me in the number of pages left to read (she had 500+, while I had about 100) came to work the next day and told me she was done. I politely told that heffa to go make love to herself and take her stinkin' book with her. Grrr. But then, I spent my lunch break reading. I read and I read until finally ... I FINISHED.

It took me a whole week to finish the book, but I'm done. Thank goodness. I loved the book, even though Prisoner of Azkaban was my favorite. There were constant deaths and some caused me to shed a tear. I still have my undying love for Fred and George and I don't care what anybody says, I hate Hagrid. And now it's all over. Sniff, sniff. Can't wait for the last two movies!!

Giving In

I have a confession to make. Well, it's not really a confession, since many of you have heard me mention this several dozen times. But I'm going to make another confession here, so deal with it.

For the past year and a half, I've been surviving without cable.

Yes, it sounds shocking that in 2007 there is someone on the face of this earth without cable. It all started when I realized that I was paying money for all these channels that I didn't watch. Sure, I got to see movies occasionally, but I had a netflix membership for that. There were also music videos and some cable shows that I watched, but I could easily wait and get it on DVD. Plus, I was trying to cut down on the amount of TV I watched.

I knew it would be a struggle since I once dated a guy who didn't have cable. At the time, I thought, amazing! How avant garde! Of course, I never took into the account that he was always at my place, mesmerized by the clear picture on my television.

At first, it was easy. I got some rabbit ears from Wal-Mart and put them on my TV. I found myself watching channels I wouldn't ordinarily watch because of my limited channel selection. I watched lots of educational stuff on public television instead of letting my brain rot by watching MTV, BET or my personal favorite, the Style network. I could almost feel my brain growing each time I tuned in for quality program.

But one day recently, I had enough. It was a Wednesday night -- I'll never forget because 'Lost' was on. Now 'Lost' is a show where you really have to pay attention, you have to see everything in order to know what the hell is going on. Well, that was the day both my TVs turned completely to snow. I raced from room to room raising the rabbit ears above my head, moving them from side to side, but nothing worked. In the end, I was a sweaty, frustrated mess. My annoyance continued the next day when I got to work and my colleagues wanted to discuss the show, along with their hypthosesis. I had to tune them out and wait till I could watch the show online.

I say all this to say that I've decided to give in to the pressures of society and am getting cable. Basic cable, that is. That'll be enough to give me my fix of Battlestar Galactica (Don't hate, Tha L -- it's the best show on TV!), Nip Tuck, The Look for Less, How Do I Look and Nigella Bites. Of course, I'll still have to wait for DVD for shows like The Wire, but I think I can handle that, even though it's taking them forever to put the most recent season on DVD.

Anyway, as soon as I can find a good date for the cable man, I'll will join normal society again. I think once I get it installed, I'll just stay on my couch for a full 24 hours just to see what I've missed in the last year and a half. Can't wait!

(Photo courtesy of http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/3963/3963.jpg)

"I'm So In Love with my Music"

I'm back!

My AC Adapter arrived sooner than I expected, so my computer is up and running again. Yay!! It was hard going there for a bit. Somehow I survived without cable, the Internet, or my iPod. It was scary -- I don't want to go down that road again. Luckily, my coworker loaned me her iPod charger so I wasn't totally in the dark. I don't know how I survived before modern technology.

Anyway, my iPod is turning me into more of a music fiend than I was before. There is so much new stuff coming out that I had to write all the music I want to get from iTunes on a little sticky note and the note is filling very quickly. Amel's coming out with something new in May, so I have to get that, and I also have to get the new Macy Gray, K-OS and some others. I'm also going to go a bit old school and get the greatest hits of Tony! Toni! Tone! and an old Terence Trent D'arby cd. While I was in NYC, I practically lost my mind with the new music I bought. I added Amy Winehouse, Joss Stone and Stephen Marley to my collection. (This headline was taken from a new Joss song)

For old time's sake, I had to buy 'Beat Street' on dvd. I can't remember much about that flick, other than crying when the Puerto Rican kid fought with Spit and got killed. And of course the dancing.

I've got a few concerts coming up that I'm pretty excited about. I'm going to see John Legend and Corinne Bailey Rae later this month and Meshell Ndegeocello in May. Whenever I tell people I'm going to see Meshell, who is a lesbian, I always get the same confused expression. "Whoa! Is there something you're trying to tell us, Strength?" "First you cut your hair and now this!" And my favorite response: "Be careful! I watch 'The L Word.' Those chicks are pretty aggressive." Folks are crazy. Good thing I'm over my issue.

I also found out that one of my future husbands, Idris Elba (in the pic), will be in town soon as well. He played Stringer Bell on The Wire and is now in a bunch of movies, most recently "Daddy's Little Girls." He's also a DJ in his spare time, so that's why he'll be coming to town. His upcoming performance hasn't been publicized much, so I hope I'll be able to get tickets. Oh Idris....if he only knew how much I loved him. Sigh.

Taking it Easy

When my alarm clock went off this morning, I was physically unable to respond. All I could think of was the long workday that loomed in front of me -- the assignments I would be forced to do, the bosses I would be forced to smile at and the headache that wold greet me by the end of the day. Just the thought of it gave me a headache, which made me realize that I needed to call in sick.

It's early afternoon now and I'm sitting around in a pajama top and jeans, trying to figure out who the hell all these new people are on All My Children and Young & the Restless. Then I watched a bit of Regis & Kelly earlier, only for them to say Robin Thicke will be on there tomorrow. Grrrr.

There are some responsible things that I want to do -- my homework, my taxes, and going to the gym. But there are also some irresponsible things I want to do as well -- go shopping, sleep, and watch mindless TV all day. I probably won't go to the gym or go shopping though. Whenever I call in sick (yes, I've done it before -- everyone needs a mental health day), I try not to go out in public. I have this fear that the mall or my gym would be subject to some kind of armed robbery and I'd be on the news as one of the victims, making it so obvious that I wasn't sick. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I can't have that happen.

Anyway, I did have a decent weekend. I went to a 3-hour intro to bellydancing class, which really wore my behind out. Trust, it ain't as easy as it looks. I went to see Pan's Labyrinth (two thumbs up, but pretty violent), bought my tix to see the Color Purple on Broadway for my b-day and caught up with my season 2 dvds of Battlestar Galactica. The last couple of episodes of have sucked, so my obsession with that show may be over sometime soon. It's doubtable, but possible.

Oh well, it's back to trying to find something to do. Have a good one!

Blogging While Paranoid

Someone is trying to take my baby.

I’ve been told that all new mothers feel this way – that the minute they look away, a stranger will whisk their precious bambinos into the wilderness. And ever since I got my iPod for Christmas, I’ve been a bit overprotective.

At first, I would leave *Sasha at home, because I didn’t think she was ready to face the elements of this cold, cruel world. But I missed her during the workday. Yeah, I had my headphones and I could listen to my songs on my computer anytime I wanted, but it’s hard to do that when I see everyone else with their babies hooked up to their ears, bobbing their heads away. And even though Sasha was safely hidden in the top of my dresser drawer, I feared that somebody could easily break in and take her away. Each time I came home, I would search for her and then be happy again when I found her securely positioned beside my Robin Thicke tickets (23 days to go!!).

Then I began bringing her to work. Wonderful. I could escape into the world that was filled with my podcast of This American Life, along with the music of John Legend, Corinne Bailey Rae, Common, etc, and leave everyone else behind. Initially, there was that dilemma of my going to the restroom. Was Sasha old enough to sit at my desk by herself? Or do I need to escort her? Then I saw Franklin, our shifty security guard, stroll by my desk and I knew that Sasha wouldn’t be safe alone. I packed her into my purse and took her with me to the bathroom.

Now that it’s been a few months, I’ve loosened the strings slightly. Somedays, I completely forget to take Sasha with me and she spends the day either in my drawer or hooked up to my computer at home. I don’t always take her to the bathroom with me now either. Often, I’ll just slip her in my bag and put it under the desk or slide her into purse and put that in a drawer. And lock it. Word must’ve gotten out about how beautiful my baby is. Aside from Franklin, now I’ve got Isabella and Geraldine, the office cleaning crew, hovering around my desk. I might have to get a restraining order.

But at this minute, Sasha and I are in our own world. We’re sitting in Barnes & Noble flipping between John Legend and Erykah Badu. We're trying not to get too annoyed with the person who just sat down behind us -- this guy smells like a medley of Windex, feces, and Lysol -- and mind our own business. She’s helping me decide if I want to buy "Love is a Mix Tape" or "Off the Record." They're both on sale … but dang it! ... books are running me out of house and home at this point. Yet I always feel like I need something new to read. Hmmm ... I'll figure something out**.


*Ok, I have a bad habit for naming all the important things in my life. And yes, all the names start with S. Maybe one day I'll mention the names I have for my guitar and statue in the living room.

**In the end, I bought Off the Record. This writer's got some juicy stuff in there. She's the one who penned that quote where Angela Bassett explained why she didn't accept the role in 'Monster's Ball': "I wasn't going to be a prostitute on film ..." I may have to get 'Mix Tape' from the library.

(Photo from: http://www.radtech.us/Images/Products/SleevziPod/Nano/btyProduct1.jpg)

My Hands Up, My Hands Up, They Want Me With My Hands Up

I was at work early this morning, tea in one hand, pen in the other, as I started writing the beginnings of ramblings that would have eventually become a blog post. Then my coworker said six words that shocked my system: “Robin Thicke’ll be here in February.” Maybe I’ve mentioned my love, obsession, if you will, for this man in the past. I’ve googled him repeatedly, trying my damndest to get those old episodes of ‘The Wonder Years’ that he appeared in on DVD. I’ve saved him as a myspace friend and put his picture next to mine on my computer at work. It was only a matter of time before my colleagues learned that I had thing for Thicke.

The coworker -- Nicole -- said, ‘do you want to go to the show?’ To which I responded, ‘Are African babies the latest trend in hollywood? Hell yeah I want to go!!’

Luckily, dearest Thicke is playing at a venue just down the street from the office, so we bought our tix in person. The cashier and I bonded in our love for him. She volunteered to work that night, just so she could serve him. I asked if they were looking for anyone else to assist him backstage, but sadly, they weren’t. I handed her my credit card and was amazed to learn that I could get FRONT ROW tickets to him for only $22. FRONT ROW. My hands shook as I signed the receipt. Speechless, I was.

I was able to burn both of Thicke’s cds for Nicole, who will be joining me at the concert. I can’t let her get up there and not know a thing about my music. But I have warned her that if anytime during the show Thicke either winks at me, points at me, or sings to me, I am quitting my job and spending the rest of my life as a groupie. Eric Benét pointed at me at a concert in Orlando in 2001 and I ain’t been the same sense. (Some have suggested I caused the breakup of his marriage to Halle Berry, but I'll keep that on the low).There are about three weeks to the concert and I’ll be playing the cd nonstop.

Check him out:

Music Video:SHOOTER (FT. ROBIN THICKE) (by Lil' Wayne)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

"Baby, you'll always be 16 to me." -- Curtis

Sorry I’ve been neglecting my posting duties, even falling back on my promise of Monday/Wednesday postings. I wish I had a reason as to why things have been so delayed, but I don’t. I’ve just been lazy. And between the ongoing rush that is the holidays and the strange things that keep happening to me, trust, I have plenty to write about. I just haven’t been motivated to do so. But today that changes.

Because I haven’t been posting, I haven’t mentioned my ongoing obsession with the movie, “Dreamgirls.” When I was around four years old, Mom went to Broadway to catch this musical with her sisters. She was so excited about how great it was, that she came back and told me about the play word for word. I remember looking through the book at the gorgeous Sheryl Lee Ralph, Loretta Devine and Jennifer Holliday. Mom played the songs non stop, especially Jennifer Holliday’s “And I Am Telling You.” I loved this play without even seeing it. I was upset that I didn’t get a chance to go, but Mom said I was too young.

Fast forward to the present day. I heard that they were producing a movie and I didn’t have high hopes. But then I saw the previews with Beyoncé channeling Diva Diana in all her fabulousness, that I knew I must see it. To prepare, I whipped out my copy of “Mahogany” (yes, I do own it, no I ain’t ‘shamed) and got ready to watch. But my stupid VCR apparently wanted the tape more than I did and it got lodged inside. I’ve been trying to get that bad boy out for a week now.

Anyway, I saw the movie the day after Christmas. I LOVED it. I felt like I was at a concert. Jennifer Hudson was AMAZING… stole the show in my opinion. And I’ve never been a Beyoncé fan before, but the chick gets much respect. I mean, this heffa is downright gorgeous. Even in those old wigs and outfits, she shined.

I sang, I clapped and if it wasn’t for that annoying Little Bastard in our row, I would have cried during the critical Jennifer Hudson song or Jamie Foxx’s “When I First Saw You.” This kid did it all – needed to go to the bathroom during my favorite scene (Jamie’s previously mentioned song), sneezed annoyingly throughout the movie, loudly whispered to her mother at critical parts, among other things. I had to restrain my movie date, J.J., from screaming “Roe Vs. Wade” at her mother. That experience helped me realize that when I have kids, I’m never taking them to the movies. If I must, I’m doping them up on Benadryl beforehand.

Despite those challenges, I had an enjoyable time. I’ll probably see the movie again, because that’s how I get when I’m in obsessive mode. When it comes on DVD, I’ll probably buy it. Hopefully, by then I’ll have rescued “Mahogany” from my evil VCR and I’ll be able to view the flicks consecutively. Yes, I know I need help. Unfortunately, I can’t afford the help that I need.

(photo courtesy of http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/060810/173023__dreamgirls_l.jpg)

Like A Star & Put Your Records On

I have jumped on the Corinne Bailey Rae bandwagon. Heard this song on myspace, then ran and bought the cd. I haven't been stopped playing it yet!
Check it:



Also check my theme song: