On Fear

I was talking to someone about fear the other day. We all have them, no matter how small. For instance, I have a relative who is absolutely terrified of driving on the highway alone. She told me that she couldn’t visit her grandmother in the hospital because everyone in her family had gone already. When I asked her why she didn’t drive to the hospital – which is only about 15 minutes away – she said, “I don’t be traveling like that.” Then she explained her fear.

A coworker once told me she knew someone who was afraid of banana peels. Something about them just freaks him out. I also know of several people who are afraid of clowns. Sometimes, I can relate to that one, because I remember Stephen King’s 'It.' I also know of someone who is afraid of certain kinds of seafood, like shrimp, octopus, etc.

Anyone who knows me well,knows that I have several fears and "issues." For instance, milk. It creeps me out to see another human being drink a glass of that stuff. I can only handle it in my cereal, but I'll never just pour a glass of milk to quench my thirst. Just the thought of that makes me shudder. I can trace that fear back to my childhood, when someone (my mother! yeah, i'll put her on blast) mistakenly fed me sour milk. I'm overly cautious about that dairy product these days. I'm very careful to keep milk from spoiling in my fridge and I have strict rules about using it after the expiration date. (One day after is fine, two days maybe, but three -- it gets TOSSED!)

One of my overwhelming fears is that someone is watching me. I can’t explain it, but there are times that I feel like someone is out there lurking on my every move. When I close my blinds, I check them several times to make sure they’re all the way closed. When I’m in my car, sometimes I’ll stare into my apartment window, just to see what the general public sees. Recently, the maintenance staff at my apartment complex gave us new fire alarms. They put one in my bedroom. Sometimes, I stare up at it and wonder if it’s actually a hidden camera.

I know this seems a little strange, but hey, we all have our quirks. I'm better with mine these days. There was a time I'd go to extreme lengths to prevent my "watchers" from seeing me get dressed. Now, I just relax and hope they're getting a good show. I just hope I don't wind up on youtube.

Photo from http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/2636/clown1.jpg